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Faking it – pretending to be a mummy blogger

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Blog writing, depression, mummy blogging, ramblings, mmwbh, Sunday best, Weekly Wednesday
Apparently, I am a mummy blogger. I am not sure when this happened. I can’t deny it is true. I am a mum. I blog. It stands to reason that I have entered the club of parental blogdom.

It is a large club. All the members I’ve spoken to are lovely, friendly and willing to offer advice and help. I’ve had many a happy twitter conversation with a fellow mummy blogger.

Yet, I still feel like an interloper. A gate crasher at a wedding. A fraud. A fake. A phoney. A bad Cliff Richard impersonator at Wimbledon.

To explain these feelings, we need to travel back in time to when this blog was born.

In April 2012, I was just starting back at work after 3 months off with depression. I was trying to get back to normal life  and I was having therapy to address some of my issues. 

I like to think I am a positive person. But it isn’t always true. I suffer badly from negative thinking. My therapist suggested that I needed to find a way to remember what makes me happy. Thus, Mrs H’s Favourite Things was born.

This blog became part of my therapy. I didn’t think about my readers or statistics. I blogged when I felt like it or when I had an event that I wanted to record.

Zoom forward to the present day and my blog has grown and evolved. Once more it has become a form of therapy. It has become my link to a bigger world. It has become my proof that I am not just a mum and a wife. I have more to offer.

Over the past month I have been spending more time writing posts, giving the blog a spruce up and embracing social media. I also did research on what it takes to become a successful blogger. 

This research scared me. A lot of the paraphenelia that comes with blogging just isn’t me. I could spend hours ensuring that my blog has perfect search engine optimisation and is the most beautifully designed blog around. If I do that I run the risk of losing me. I worry that I won’t know who the Mrs H in Mrs H’s Favourite Things really is.

Dear reader, I hope that you enjoy my posts. I hope you like them because they are honest and come from the heart. I hope you like them because they contain a little piece of me. I hope you like them because they are a little rough around the edges. I hope you like them because just like me they aren’t perfect but they are genuine.

And I hope you’ll stick around as this blog continues to grow and develop. It would be lovely to get to know you.

Hugs

Mrs H

xxxx

P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts. Do you do anything that makes you feel like a fake? 
P.P.S. Depite feeling like this I appear to be attending Mumsnet’s Blogfest on Saturday 8th November 2014. Wish me luck and a big dose of courage.  
P.P.P.S I have linked this post up to a number of linkys including the fabulous @SundayStars. A linky run by a number of fabulous bloggers including myself. Steph from Diary of a Midlife Mummy and I are your hosts for this week.

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48 Comments

  • Reply
    Clare - My Tunbridge Wells
    June 13, 2015 at 8:31 pm

    You are most definitely a mummy blogger. I really enjoy your posts 🙂

    I feel like a fake because I am more of a regional blogger -e.g..I blog about events and activities in my areas but not necessarily about being a parent. Does that make me a mummy blogger or not?! X

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      June 14, 2015 at 8:54 pm

      Thanks so much for your kind comments. And I am so glad that you enjoy my posts. I think your blog is fantastic. And not just because I am about to move to Tunbridge Wells. You have found your niche and that is amazing. My niche is just me. I don’t think we should put labels on the kind of bloggers we are. We write because we love it. And that makes us writers (not just bloggers). The rest is just symantics. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Pen
    May 9, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Hi,

    It is really interesting to hear that you use your blog as therapy. That’s exactly what I use mine for, but recently I have found that I have got more interested in the stats side of things.

    Ultimately though, my blog is for me. I enjoy writing it. If I change it into something else it will lose its appeal to me. I need to stay true to myself and to my blogging voice.

    I enjoyed reading your post. It is from the heart. The best blog posts are in my view.

    Thanks

    Pen
    xx
    Pen recently posted…The drawbacks of blogging anonymouslyMy Profile

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      June 14, 2015 at 8:56 pm

      Dear Pen. Thank you for your lovely comment. I agree that the best blog posts are from the heart and that is what they should be. I adore genuine and honest blogs. That is what I aim to convey. And you should be proud of your blogging voice. No one else has it and so you should embrace it and let it shine through your writing. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Tim
    April 18, 2015 at 12:04 am

    I feel like a fake about 50% of the time (and pretty happy about my blogging life the other 50%). Like many bloggers, I started out writing purely for myself – and it’s still my main motivation in truth – but somewhere along the line I picked up some wonderful people who seem to be interested in stuff that I blather on about. I’m still not entirely sure why, but while people are still kind enough to acknowledge and comment on what I write, then hey, why not keep going? Writing for an audience will never be my primary motivation, but it’s nice to be loved nonetheless.
    Tim recently posted…10 more types of people you meet on social mediaMy Profile

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      June 14, 2015 at 8:58 pm

      Thanks for your comment Tim. It is nice to be loved. And it always gives me a thrill when I go up in Tots or get mentioned by another blogger. But it is important to remember that is not why I blog. And I need to stay true to myself. Otherwise, my blog wouldn’t be a reflection of who I am and I would hate that. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Rachel
    April 2, 2015 at 10:06 am

    Great post, I can really relate. I’m not sure how I’m here but I seem to be blogging almost every day! I love it but I can’t really remember how it happened hehe!! There is so much to learn, I have been doing it for about 4 months now but really enjoying learning all these new skills!
    Rachel recently posted…Wicked Wednesday – 1st April 2015My Profile

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      June 14, 2015 at 8:59 pm

      Hi Rachel. Thanks for your comment. It is odd when you suddenly realise that you’re a blogger. And tapping at your keyboard has actually led somewhere. I love blogging. It has given me so much and I am sure it has much more to give. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Mrs W
    March 24, 2015 at 9:50 pm

    I am very new to blogging, I wrote my first post yesterday on babyeandme.wordpress.com so I can definitely relate to this post! It does seem like you could spend a huge amount of time perfecting the look of your blog and advertising it. I am very aware, and happy that I am, of ensuring that I don’t become so consumed with blogging about being a mummy that it takes me away from being an actual mummy!
    Mrs W recently posted…Weaning – The Early DaysMy Profile

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 26, 2015 at 11:27 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment. And congratulations on writing your first post and becoming a blogger. That is very exciting! I love blogging but sometimes it can be very difficult. I feel I should write a post but life gets in the way, I’m too tired or I’ve lost my blogging mojo. I think it is important not to pressure on yourself and to only write what and when you want. Good luck on your blogging journey. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Meg and Pete
    March 22, 2015 at 9:30 am

    Such an honest sentiment, thank you! We’re also finding it harrowing to set out on the blogging journey. Glad to see you’ve had great success and are building an excellent community after only a few years.

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      June 14, 2015 at 9:01 pm

      Thanks for your lovely comment. This blogging journey is hard. But it is worth it. Keep going with it. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    adayinthisdadslife
    March 2, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    I started blogging by a freak accident involving my daughter a car and myself lol, from there onwards my blog has mainly been about my family and our data out whatever it maybe from trips to the park through to larger events. I’ve thought about expanding my blog to a bigger scale but then I thought I’d lose my way of doing my posts at my time scale so I didn’t lol. I just blog when and if I feel like it tbh.
    adayinthisdadslife recently posted…Fathers let Talk Balls #talkballsMy Profile

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 2, 2015 at 5:52 pm

      Thanks so much for commenting. I think is the best way to be. I’ve been blogging a bit more recently and I’ve been lucky enough to be sent some products to review. But blogging is still a hobby that I really enjoy. I would never give that up. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Adventures of a Novice Mum
    January 15, 2015 at 2:26 am

    Thanks for your thoughtful post; glad I stumbled upon it via twitter. I can relate with the sentiments you expressed. So much more to the blogging world than just writing one’s post, and it can be so overwhelming. I keep struggling to find that balance between content and networking and all that it could mean / require. Many others seems to fit the mummy blogger shoe so well and it’s so easy to feel out of place. I try and remind myself that it’s okay to go at my pace, in my own way … to define what blogging as a mum means for me and that this is okay. I also tell myself from time to time that there’s enough space for all of us, in all our varied forms, follows, etc.

    I suppose, however we feel, we’re choosing to blog on, as mums and as bloggers!
    Adventures of a Novice Mum recently posted…My Precious Sparkle is 11 months old?My Profile

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      January 15, 2015 at 8:37 pm

      Hello lovely. Thanks so much for your kind comment. The blogging world is quite scary. I still really struggle to know what to do. I find that the most important thing is to remind myself why I do it. I blog because I love to write and I like to think that my story can help others. I hope that is enough to make people want to read my blog. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Mrs H
    November 16, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Hello Becky. It is lovely to see you here and thank you for commenting. I try really hard to remember that I blog for a hobby but sometimes it des become addictive and I stay up to ridiculous hours finishing a post. Now I aim to write one post a week. If I write more than that then that is fab. If not, then I start again the next week. I think your blog is great so continue as you are. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    diary of a midlife mummy
    November 15, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    Fab post to read all over again honey (nearly just wrote ‘homey’ instead there – thank god I spotted it!! – you’d have thought me a right idiot!!) I think its a brilliant idea to look back at previous posts and see where we’ve come from and how we’ve grown. Just lovely. love Steph xxx #SundayStars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      November 16, 2014 at 7:46 pm

      Ahhh Steph. I really wish you had have written ‘homey’. I would have loved to be called that in my comments. It would make me sound cool. Thanks for reading this post again and for commenting. You are a star. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Caroline (Becoming a SAHM)
    November 9, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    Lovely post and I feel like I’m faking it too a lot of the time! I go through stages of trying to be a super blogger, then get a bit disillusioned and go back to what I enjoy most about blogging… Babbling on about life and whatever is in my head 🙂 hope you enjoyed blogfest, I am yet to brave a blogging conference… Not sure I have the guts 🙂 xx #sundaystars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      November 16, 2014 at 7:41 pm

      Hello Caroline. Thanks so much for visiting and for taking the time to comment. It is so hard to be a super blogger. like you, when I get bogged down in all the stresses and strains of blogging then I fall out of love with it. But after a few days away I am always desperate for more. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    you baby me mummy
    November 9, 2014 at 8:49 am

    My blog is my therapy too http://youbabymemummy.com/pnd/blogging-as-therapy/ I am so glad you found your blog and that it has helped you. Also glad that I got to meet you xxx #SundayStars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      November 16, 2014 at 7:39 pm

      Aby, thanks so much for commenting. I am always amazed but happy that lots of people find writing a blog therapeutic. It can be a great release. I love your blog too. It always makes me smile, It was great to meet you too and pick your brain about all things blogging. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    amy cooper
    November 9, 2014 at 8:41 am

    I know how you feel about feeling a bit of a fraud i do to ohwell you no what they say fake it till you make it! xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      November 16, 2014 at 7:36 pm

      Hi Amy. “Fake it to you make it” is my mantra. It seems fitting that I should apply it to my blog. Thanks for reading and commenting. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Alyssa Mumtoamonster
    November 9, 2014 at 7:27 am

    Ive only just found Your blog but will definitely e catching up soon. I started my blog for similar reasons

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      November 16, 2014 at 7:35 pm

      Hello. It is great to know that lots of people started their blogs when life was hard and they needed a way out. Sometimes blogging can be a lifeline. I hope to see you back here soon. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Karen (@karenjwhitlock)
    October 28, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    I love your blog, and I love the insight I have into what makes you, you. I feel like a fraud with my blog as I don’t feel like I know what I am doing with it. I just write it and then feel a bit out of my depth when people are talking about side bars and SEO.
    Keep writing as you do as I love to read your blog x

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      November 16, 2014 at 7:33 pm

      Ahhhh, lovely Karen. Thank you for your comment. I don’t really know aht I am doing either. SEO confuses me and seems to involve a lot of effort. I think I’ll stick to what I know and love; writing! Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    diary of a midlife mummy
    July 29, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Hey Mrs H. This is such a lovely post – it really comes from the heart and shows us a little more of who you are and why you’re here. I know what you mean about being an intruder or stalker of some in my case, but I suppose this is just how we all have to start out. I sound pretty similar to you with the whole negative thought stuff (I also saw a therapist) and I think this is a brilliant outlet. I’m loving hearing your stories, so keep going lovely. Xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      August 4, 2014 at 7:30 pm

      Hello. Thank you for such a lovely comment. It made me feel quite emosh when I first saw it. I really love blogging. But the whole blogging world can feel really over-whelming. I have been so busy over the past week and I have felt very guilty that I haven’t been able to blog more. I worry far too much about statistics and followers. I just need to relax and enjoy it. But it helps to have such lovely blogging friends, like your gorgeous self. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Entertaining Elliot
    July 19, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    The mummy blogging world is a little overwhelming isn’t it.I only started my blog last month and I feel like a teeny tiny fish in big pond wondering how and if anyone will ever read my posts! I do it for fun though, and it’ll be nice for my son to look back on it and see all the fun stuff we got up to when he was a littleun 🙂 x

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      July 20, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      Hello. Thanks so much for your comment. The mummy blogging world is overwhelming but it is also hugely supportive. There are lots of mums out there who will help you. As long as you continue to write for you and not try to please other people then you’ll do great. Have fun! Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    mummyofboygirltwins
    July 18, 2014 at 1:02 pm

    Hi lovely 😉 Great to hear why you got into it. It is a large world in blogging isn’t it? I didn’t realise that either, however I blog about anything that comes into my head. My ‘style’ keeps changing but its nothing planned, and I LOVE it and thats all that matters. Yours is great and I enjoy reading your posts a lot x

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      July 18, 2014 at 7:40 pm

      Hello lovely lady. Thanks for stopping by again. It is always lovely to see you here. I LOVE your blog too. I think you have such a natural writing style and that is really important. I am definitely going to stay true to myself and blog because I want to – not because I feel compelled too. Hopefully, people will continue to drop by and read my posts. But if not then at least my husband and my mum read it. Ha ha. Thanks for the lovely words. *Smile*.

      Hugs

      Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    cuddlesandmuddles
    July 18, 2014 at 10:28 am

    Lovely post 🙂 I think it’s easy to get caught up with the ‘mummy blogger’ label and then worry about getting enough views, being active enough on social media, whether the blog looks ‘slick’ enough etc. But it depends why you start blogging in the first place. If it is to be a professional mummy blogger and (somehow!) make money, then those are things to focus on. If it’s for love of writing or to record life or whatever, you just happen to be a mum who blogs! I’m definitely in the second camp but that doesn’t mean I don’t get a bit sidetracked by the other things sometimes!! (And I’m totally with Miss M above – I feel like a fake grown up all the time, even with baby no 2 on the way!) #weeklylinky

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      July 18, 2014 at 7:36 pm

      Hello. Thank you so much for dropping by and taking the time to leave a lovely comment. It is nice to know that I am not the only person who feels like a fake grown up. I really don’t feel old enough to be making decisions about another human being.

      After writing this, I would say that I am in the second camp too. We will have to keep each other company. Iam definitely just a mum who blogs. And you know what – I’m really happy with that.

      Take care

      Hugs Mrs xxxx

  • Reply
    thegingerbreadmum.com
    July 18, 2014 at 9:24 am

    I think every blog is therapy for the person writing it (there’s a need to get something out). And just as we change over time, it’s perfectly fine for a blog to change (or not!). It’s easy to be scared by the world of mummy blogging – some people take it far too seriously for my liking, but then that’s their perogative 🙂 Staying true to your own voice is the most important thing for me and with that comes true and quality readers!
    (By the way, I feel like I fake most of my life…) xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      July 18, 2014 at 7:31 pm

      Hello. Thank you for this great comment. I totally agree that many forms of writing are therapy for the author. As you say, “a need to get something out”. It seems a lot better to me than holding all your emotions in.

      Writing that post and reading all the lovely comments has reinforced my decision to remain true to myself. To write and post because I want to and I feel that I have something interesting to say. If my blog ends up with lots of loyal readers as a result – then that is brilliant but it is not going to be my aim.

      Hugs Mrs H xxxx

      PS I feel a fake too. Sometimes being me feels like I am playing a part in a play that I don’t know the end of. That Mr Shakespeare was a very smart man when he wrote the “all the world’s a stage” speech. x

  • Reply
    Meriannen
    July 17, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    I think the most beautiful thing you can do is to keep being honest with yourself – blog about things you like and want to write about, not because you want to attract readers. At least I enjoy reading blogs that are written with passion! But if I can sense that the blog text is there just to make me click more and more links and it’s all really “commercial”.. I shy away from such things. I think you have a beautiful blog and what have I read so far, I like your honest writing style. Keep that up!

    Ps. What makes us mummy bloggers? Is it because we are mums and we blog, or is there bigger elements out there – like the need to write about our children or so? I’ve been thinking about the description of “mummy blogger” lately a lot – what it means as a theme, what does it mean to be a mummy blogger? 😀

    Oh, and I “challenged” you in my most recent blog post! I hope to read your answers soon.

    • Reply
      Meriannen
      July 18, 2014 at 10:46 am

      I was thinking more this in bed last night as I was waiting for the sleep and listening to the thunder.. And I realized, that as English isn’t my first language it feels somehow “fake” for me to blog using this language that I have learned but not used since childhood. Even if I’m fluent in it and don’t have problems to express myself with it, it.. just doesn’t feel the same than summing up feelings and experiences in my own native language. Does that make any sense? xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      July 18, 2014 at 7:25 pm

      Hey Meriannen. Thanks so much for your lovely comments. I am really glad that you enjoyed the post. I also get put off blogs that are very commercial. I understand that for many blogging is their job and they have to do PR collaborations. But it feels a little try hard to me and doesn’t sit with the ethos of their blogs.

      I really love your blog and think your writing is brilliant. I am in awe of you having two blogs – one in Finnish and one in you second language. I could never do that! I can barely speak English!!! I can understand why you feel that you English blog is somehow “fake”. it certainly doesn’t come across that way when reading it. It is a lovely and genuine blog.

      Thanks also for tagging me in the questions. I’ll have to get my thinking cap on and write up the answers at ome point over the next week.

      Take care. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Mrs H
    July 17, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    Ahhhh, Katy thanks for reading my post and commenting. Please don’t feel overwhelmed. I can see why you do (as I often to do – I still have no idea about SEO). I am sure like me you started writing your blog because you want to document your life and record those lovely family moments. I’ve decided that I am just going to keep that in mind. As you say, I am a mummy writing a blog. But my main and most important job is to be a wife and mummy. That will always come first. Take care and thanks for being so lovely. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Miss M
    July 17, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    I love your posts because they are so very you, and when I don’t get to see you enough, they give me my dose of your voice. Until I started reading, I never realised how beautifully eloquent you are.
    Anyway, to the question at hand…. I feel like a fake grown up! I may have a house, pension, dependent (ok, hamster but she still needs me) and yet still waiting for adult to happen! I don’t really know what it looks like, so I’ll just have to fake it til it happens…..

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      July 17, 2014 at 8:50 pm

      Ahhhh darling lady. This just put the biggest smile on my face. You are such a wonderful friend and I miss you. It always made my day going for lunch with you or bumping into you at the CRUK canteen. Those were the days! I don’t think that I’ll ever feel like an adult. I still look at Little Miss H and wonder how the hell I became a mummy (don’t answer that!!!). I don’t feel able to look after myself let alone another human being. I hope you’ll be able to hear my “beautiful eloquence” in person soon. Love you! Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Reply
    Katy F
    July 17, 2014 at 10:44 am

    I feel the same! 2 months in and I am overwhelmed by it all. My posts are rough around the edges too and I am always shocked that people actually view my blog!! haha!
    I like your posts, I like that you are just a mummy doing a blog. Same as me 🙂
    #weeklylinky

  • Reply
    Jenna Richards
    July 17, 2014 at 7:11 am

    Really interesting to hear how people got starting with blogging. I’m glad it helped you through a difficult time. In all honesty, some of my favourite blogs aren’t the ones with the flashy designs or thousands of followers. They are usually the more ‘low-key’ (for lack of a better word) blogs, with nicely written and honests posts. Posts I can relate to. Keep doing what you’re doing Mrs H! xx

    #weeklylinky

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      July 17, 2014 at 8:34 pm

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment Jenna. I too prefer more low key posts – that portray an actual human person and not a super mummy! I love your blog for that reason. You are honest and genuine and that comes through in your writing. Take care and I look forward to more posts on http://www.tinyfootsteps.co.uk. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

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