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Mental health

Mental health

The ugliness of depression

A black and white photograph of tall trees against a cloudy sky on the horizon - The Ugliness of Depression - Mrs H's favourite things

On Monday the singer Sinead O’Connor posted a heartbreaking video to her Facebook page. O’Connor films the footage in a grotty hotel in New Jersey. And in it she is clearly in the middle of a depressive episode. She is distraught. Beside herself. Her thoughts tumble into one another. And as you watch you can see and hear her heart break and her soul rip into thousands of tiny pieces. It is a horrid video to watch. Especially for someone,…

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Mental health

Sharing the story of my depression for Mental Health Awareness Week #MHAW17

An introductory post to why I have decided to share My Story of Depression. I plan to write an autobiographical series that documents my Mental Health over the years. Sharing My Story of Depression for Mental Health Awareness Week 2017 #MHAW17

I have suffered from depression for 18 years of my life. And I will suffer with it until the day I die. Depression is a part of me. I’ve had it for the majority of my adult life. It has made me the person I am today. I know I’ve talked about it on this blog but I’ve mainly written pretty prose about feelings or the fear of relapsing. I haven’t ever talked about the nitty-gritty of living with depression. This…

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Mental health My family

50 reasons why I feel guilty

A photograph of a mother carrying a smiley baby - 50 Reasons Why I Feel Guilty - Mrs H's favourite things

I feel guilty all the time. Mum guilt. Wife guilt. Friend guilt. The list goes on and on. And bloody hell, it is exhausting feeling this way. Beating myself up emotionally for every little mistake I make or every time I don’t live up to the image of perfection that I aspire to. But I’m human. I make mistakes and I’m not perfect. So this leads to a great deal of guilt. Over the years I have learnt that writing down my feelings…

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Mental health

15 ways to look after your mental health

An inspirational photograph of a woman standing on a beach at sunset and looking out to the sea _ 15 steps for looking after my mental health - Mrs H's favourite things

I’ve been quite open recently that my mental health hasn’t been brilliant. It certainly isn’t terrible but I haven’t been myself. I’ve been feeling anxious and unmotivated. There have been days when I have felt tearful, unable to control my mood and I have just wanted to clamber back into bed and sleep. There are many small reasons why my depression has relapsed. The stress and sadness of the recurrent miscarriages and the anxiety I felt in my last pregnancy has caught…

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Mental health

The Stalker

Two shadows of people appear on a pavement one slightly behind the other like they are a stalker - The Stalker - Mrs H's favourite things

I have a stalker. They've been a menacing presence in my life since I was 20. And since their appearance during my second year at university, there has been no escape. They've been every where I turned. Every where I looked. They threatened my life. And they filled me with self loathing and hatred. Setting me on a path to self destruction.…

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Mental health

Being alive

14 years ago today, I woke up in hospital. I was still alive. The night before I had taken numerous packets of ibuprofen in an attempt to kill myself. I can't describe in words the desolation I felt that I had not succeeded. That I was still alive. That I had to carry on living with the endless turmoil and numbness of depression.…

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Mental health Motherhood

Perinatal Mental Health #PNDAW16: It’s okay not to be okay

A faded photograph of a young woman looking wistful as the sun sets in a tropical setting behind her - Includes the title "Perinatal mental health #PNDAW16 - It's okay not to be okay" - Mrs H's favourite things

Today marks the end of the first ever Pre & Post Natal Depression Awareness Week #PNDAW16 run by PANDAS (the UK's leading pre and post natal depression charity). In light of this, I wanted to share my story of perinatal mental health. My experience of perinatal mental illnesses may be slightly unusual as I have suffered from depression for almost 17 year; most of my adult life. At times, my mental health has been terrible. At other times it has been…

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Mental health Pregnancy after baby loss

When pregnancy is a struggle

A blurry and black and white photograph of a pregnant lady _ including the title "when pregnancy is a struggle" _ Mrs H's favourite things

It is difficult to admit that something you have yearned for desperately has been a struggle. Ever since Little Miss H has been a few months old, I have wanted a second baby. The miscarriages that followed just made my desperation for that child more intense. Each loss took us further away from our longed for second child. But each loss made me more determined that we needed to become a family of four.…

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