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Mental health

Mental health

The Stalker

Two shadows of people appear on a pavement one slightly behind the other like they are a stalker - The Stalker - Mrs H's favourite things

I have a stalker. They've been a menacing presence in my life since I was 20. And since their appearance during my second year at university, there has been no escape. They've been every where I turned. Every where I looked. They threatened my life. And they filled me with self loathing and hatred. Setting me on a path to self destruction.…

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Mental health

Being alive

14 years ago today, I woke up in hospital. I was still alive. The night before I had taken numerous packets of ibuprofen in an attempt to kill myself. I can't describe in words the desolation I felt that I had not succeeded. That I was still alive. That I had to carry on living with the endless turmoil and numbness of depression.…

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Mental health Motherhood

Perinatal Mental Health #PNDAW16: It’s okay not to be okay

A faded photograph of a young woman looking wistful as the sun sets in a tropical setting behind her - Includes the title "Perinatal mental health #PNDAW16 - It's okay not to be okay" - Mrs H's favourite things

Today marks the end of the first ever Pre & Post Natal Depression Awareness Week #PNDAW16 run by PANDAS (the UK's leading pre and post natal depression charity). In light of this, I wanted to share my story of perinatal mental health. My experience of perinatal mental illnesses may be slightly unusual as I have suffered from depression for almost 17 year; most of my adult life. At times, my mental health has been terrible. At other times it has been…

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Mental health Pregnancy after baby loss

When pregnancy is a struggle

A blurry and black and white photograph of a pregnant lady _ including the title "when pregnancy is a struggle" _ Mrs H's favourite things

It is difficult to admit that something you have yearned for desperately has been a struggle. Ever since Little Miss H has been a few months old, I have wanted a second baby. The miscarriages that followed just made my desperation for that child more intense. Each loss took us further away from our longed for second child. But each loss made me more determined that we needed to become a family of four.…

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Mental health Motherhood Pregnancy after baby loss

Pregnancy after miscarriage: Surviving the first trimester

A stunning photograph of a double full arch rainbow against a cloudy sky with autumnal trees in the foreground - My Rainbow Baby - Mrs H's favourite things

Now I am 20 weeks pregnant, I find it easier to look back at the first trimester of my pregnancy. It was a tough time. I was worried and anxious every second of every day. I had bad dreams, cried lots and generally didn't want to do much more than sit on the sofa or sleep. It is probably wrong to say that I survived the first trimester of this pregnancy. I somehow managed to drag my way through it. And although I…

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Mental health

Getting through November

I have to say it. I hate November. In my opinion, it is the hardest month of the year. And it is the month where I always struggle with my depression. I didn't always feel this way. As a child and a teenager I was indifferent to November. Nothing exciting happened. I spent the days waiting for December and the count down to Christmas. That all changed on Saturday, 23rd November 2002. That was the day that I made serious plans to take my life…

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Charities Mental health

Self-harm Awareness

Self-harm still feels like a very taboo subject to talk about. I've always been open in this blog. I have written posts about my history of long-term depression, miscarriages and even my suicide attempts. But somehow talking about my personal experiences of self-harm seems more difficult. Even now, as I write this I wonder what you are all thinking.…

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