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Recurrent miscarriage

Motherhood Recurrent miscarriage

An open letter to our first baby

A sepia tinted photograph of a young baby's feet and toes - A open letter to our first baby - Mrs H's favourite things

Dear Baby, Today could have been your 4th birthday. Today your Daddy and I could have been singing happy birthday to you. We could have watched you open your presents. Seen you smile as you blew out the candles on your cake. We could have taken you to see the animals at London Zoo. Maybe you would have asked to take one of your new toys with you.…

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Motherhood My rainbow baby Recurrent miscarriage

My rainbow baby

A photograph of a wooden rainbow toy, some rainbow coloured confetti and three photos from a baby scan lying on a white baby blanket - My Rainbow Baby featuring Somewhere After the Ranbow _ Mrs H's favourite things

"A rainbow baby is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison." Quotation taken from the Kicks Count website. Four years ago, I had never heard of the term rainbow baby. Now in October 2016, we have two beautiful rainbow babies. And they brighten…

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Recurrent miscarriage

An open letter to the woman who has just miscarried

A photograph of a park with a boating lake and lots of dappled sunshine and winter sun glares - An open letter to a woman who has just miscarried - Mrs H's favourite things

Dear friend It is traditional in these circumstances to say I am sorry for your loss. But those words seem empty and insulting. They imply that you have been careless and misplaced something valuable... a wallet, your keys, your phone. Those words don't convey that your world has come crashing down. They don't show that your heart is splintering into pieces. They don't speak of the shattering sobs that run through your whole body late at night. They don't tell of the emptiness that often manifests…

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Recurrent miscarriage

Miscarriage: Where do I go from here?

On Friday, I had a hysteroscopy. It was the final test that the NHS will offer us in our investigations into the recurrent miscarriages. It didn't give any answers. My miscarriages remain unexplained. It could be bad luck. It could be a chromosomal issue. We might never know. And that for me is the worst development. I know, it is ridiculous to want something to be wrong. But I wanted there to be something wrong with me so that there was a…

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Recurrent miscarriage

Uncertainty

recurrent miscarriage

I don't like uncertainty. I like to have a plan. I want to know what I am doing today, tomorrow and in 10 years time. Tomorrow we go for our first appointment at the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic. To say that I am nervous is an understatement. I have no idea what to expect. I don't know how long the appointment will last. I don't know what will be discussed and I don't know how those discussions will make me feel.…

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