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Recurrent miscarriage

Motherhood Recurrent miscarriage

The grief of baby loss

A photograph of a brunette lady looking into the distance and looking tearful, her eyes are misted over with tears - The Grief of Baby Loss - Mrs H's favourite things

Our first baby was due on 14th January 2013. Although, I struggle to remember the due dates for the other babies I’ll always remember the day that our first baby was due to enter our lives. Sadly, that little boy or girl was never meant to be ours to hold. At 11 weeks pregnant, we discovered that the baby was dead. Their heartbeat had stopped when I was 6 weeks pregnant. When the midwife told me that the baby didn’t…

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Books Recurrent miscarriage

“Saying Goodbye” by Zoë Clark-Coates – A Review and Interview with the Author

A flat lay photograph of the book Saying Goodbye by Zoë Clark-Coates on a piece of blue felt surrounded by white rose petals and blue pom pom flowers - Saying Goodbye by Zoë Clark-Coates - A Review and Interview with the Author - Mrs H's favourite things

There were moments when I was reading Zoë Clark-Coates’ first book, Saying Goodbye when I felt like Zoë had captured all my emotions about our four miscarriages. There are words and feelings that I still struggle to vocalise. Yet, Saying Goodbye has managed to capture all of these emotions and so much more. For sadly Zoë Clark-Coates understands baby loss. In Saying Goodbye she shares her personal story of baby loss. And how she and her husband Andy faced the loss of five babies. Shocked by the lack of…

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Family Recurrent miscarriage

Now the miscarriages are over

A photograph of a woman walking with her baby in a carrier. She is hugging him and walking through some gardens and by lush green trees - this is the featured image for a post entitled Once The Miscarriages are Over - Once The Miscarriages are Over - Mrs H's favourite things

Trigger warning: you may find this post upsetting if you have experienced miscarriages. In a little over a week our rainbow baby boy will turn one. That is a whole year of having his sunny presence in our lives. And a year of knowing that the miscarriages are far behind us.  My last miscarriage was in May 2015. And in September 2015 we were given the news that the miscarriages were unexplained. That there wasn’t a known reason for our…

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Motherhood Recurrent miscarriage

An open letter to our first baby

A sepia tinted photograph of a young baby's feet and toes - A open letter to our first baby - Mrs H's favourite things

Dear Baby, Today could have been your 4th birthday. Today your Daddy and I could have been singing happy birthday to you. We could have watched you open your presents. Seen you smile as you blew out the candles on your cake. We could have taken you to see the animals at London Zoo. Maybe you would have asked to take one of your new toys with you.…

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Motherhood My rainbow baby Recurrent miscarriage

My rainbow baby

A photograph of a wooden rainbow toy, some rainbow coloured confetti and three photos from a baby scan lying on a white baby blanket - My Rainbow Baby featuring Somewhere After the Ranbow _ Mrs H's favourite things

"A rainbow baby is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison." Quotation taken from the Kicks Count website. Four years ago, I had never heard of the term rainbow baby. Now in October 2016, we have two beautiful rainbow babies. And they brighten…

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Recurrent miscarriage

An Open Letter To The Woman Who Has Just Miscarried

A photograph of a fluffy dandelion in a green field with one dandelion seed about to blow away - An Open Letter To The Woman Who Has Just Miscarried - Mrs H's favourite things

Dear friend It is traditional in these circumstances to say I am sorry for your loss. But those words seem empty and insulting. They imply that you have been careless and misplaced something valuable... a wallet, your keys, your phone. Those words don't convey that your world has come crashing down. They don't show that your heart is splintering into pieces. They don't speak of the shattering sobs that run through your whole body late at night. They don't tell of the emptiness that often manifests…

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Recurrent miscarriage

Miscarriage: Where do I go from here?

On Friday, I had a hysteroscopy. It was the final test that the NHS will offer us in our investigations into the recurrent miscarriages. It didn't give any answers. My miscarriages remain unexplained. It could be bad luck. It could be a chromosomal issue. We might never know. And that for me is the worst development. I know, it is ridiculous to want something to be wrong. But I wanted there to be something wrong with me so that there was a…

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