Browsing Tag

depression

Mental health

The Stalker

Two shadows of people appear on a pavement one slightly behind the other like they are a stalker - The Stalker - Mrs H's favourite things

I have a stalker. They've been a menacing presence in my life since I was 20. And since their appearance during my second year at university, there has been no escape. They've been every where I turned. Every where I looked. They threatened my life. And they filled me with self loathing and hatred. Setting me on a path to self destruction.…

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Motherhood Recurrent miscarriage

An open letter to our first baby

A sepia tinted photograph of a young baby's feet and toes - A open letter to our first baby - Mrs H's favourite things

Dear Baby, Today could have been your 4th birthday. Today your Daddy and I could have been singing happy birthday to you. We could have watched you open your presents. Seen you smile as you blew out the candles on your cake. We could have taken you to see the animals at London Zoo. Maybe you would have asked to take one of your new toys with you.…

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Mental health

Being alive

14 years ago today, I woke up in hospital. I was still alive. The night before I had taken numerous packets of ibuprofen in an attempt to kill myself. I can't describe in words the desolation I felt that I had not succeeded. That I was still alive. That I had to carry on living with the endless turmoil and numbness of depression.…

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Mental health Motherhood

Perinatal Mental Health #PNDAW16: It’s okay not to be okay

A faded photograph of a young woman looking wistful as the sun sets in a tropical setting behind her - Includes the title "Perinatal mental health #PNDAW16 - It's okay not to be okay" - Mrs H's favourite things

Today marks the end of the first ever Pre & Post Natal Depression Awareness Week #PNDAW16 run by PANDAS (the UK's leading pre and post natal depression charity). In light of this, I wanted to share my story of perinatal mental health. My experience of perinatal mental illnesses may be slightly unusual as I have suffered from depression for almost 17 year; most of my adult life. At times, my mental health has been terrible. At other times it has been…

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Mental health Pregnancy after baby loss

When pregnancy is a struggle

A blurry and black and white photograph of a pregnant lady _ including the title "when pregnancy is a struggle" _ Mrs H's favourite things

It is difficult to admit that something you have yearned for desperately has been a struggle. Ever since Little Miss H has been a few months old, I have wanted a second baby. The miscarriages that followed just made my desperation for that child more intense. Each loss took us further away from our longed for second child. But each loss made me more determined that we needed to become a family of four.…

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Health & welfare

The body confidence challenge

A pretty brunette lady sits in a restaurant with her head tilted to one side and smiling _ includes the title "The body confidence challenge" - Mrs H's favourite things

A few weeks ago, the lovely Jules who blogs at Pondering Parenthood tagged me to take part in the body confidence challenge. The challenge was originally created by Eilidh at Mummy and Monkeys. Elidih pointed out that we very rarely look in the mirror and see something we like. It is much easier to find the things that you dislike or want to change. But isn't it time we were kinder to ourselves? Isn't it time we take a moment to really…

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Mental health Motherhood Pregnancy after baby loss

Pregnancy after miscarriage: Surviving the first trimester

A stunning photograph of a double full arch rainbow against a cloudy sky with autumnal trees in the foreground - My Rainbow Baby - Mrs H's favourite things

Now I am 20 weeks pregnant, I find it easier to look back at the first trimester of my pregnancy. It was a tough time. I was worried and anxious every second of every day. I had bad dreams, cried lots and generally didn't want to do much more than sit on the sofa or sleep. It is probably wrong to say that I survived the first trimester of this pregnancy. I somehow managed to drag my way through it. And although I…

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