Our first baby was due on 14th January 2013. Although, I struggle to remember the due dates for the other babies I’ll always remember the day that our first baby was due to enter our lives. Sadly, that little boy or girl was never meant to be ours to hold. At 11 weeks pregnant, we discovered that the baby was dead. Their heartbeat had stopped when I was 6 weeks pregnant. When the midwife told me that the baby didn’t…
There were moments when I was reading Zoë Clark-Coates’ first book, Saying Goodbye when I felt like Zoë had captured all my emotions about our four miscarriages. There are words and feelings that I still struggle to vocalise. Yet, Saying Goodbye has managed to capture all of these emotions and so much more. For sadly Zoë Clark-Coates understands baby loss. In Saying Goodbye she shares her personal story of baby loss. And how she and her husband Andy faced the loss of five babies. Shocked by the lack of…
If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll know that Little Miss H and Little Mr H are rainbow babies. This means that both our children were born following baby loss. And they are the bright and beautiful rainbows in the sky after the heartbreaking storms of miscarriage. After three miscarriages we’d almost given up hope of having a second child. And so the pregnancy with Little Mister H was always going to be our last. No matter how it…
This week is the second annual Pre and Postnatal Depression Awareness Week (#PNDAW17) run by the fantastic charity, the PANDAS Foundation. And this year the week is focused on raising awareness of prenatal mental health conditions. So I wanted to share my story of suffering from prenatal anxiety and depression after experiencing recurrent miscarriages. My story of Prenatal Anxiety and Depression At risk of Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Sadly, Mr H and I always knew that my pre-existing and long-term mental…
“Baby mine, don’t you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart Never to part, Baby of mine.” Happy birthday, baby of mine. Today you turned one. Our second rainbow baby is growing up. This time last year I had just given birth. And you had already begun to fill our lives with huge bundles of love and joy. Earlier on in the day, Andy Murray had won Wimbledon. Little Miss H and I had…
Trigger warning: you may find this post upsetting if you have experienced miscarriages. In a little over a week our rainbow baby boy will turn one. That is a whole year of having his sunny presence in our lives. And a year of knowing that the miscarriages are far behind us. My last miscarriage was in May 2015. And in September 2015 we were given the news that the miscarriages were unexplained. That there wasn’t a known reason for our…
Welcome back to the blog series My Rainbow Baby. I created My Rainbow Baby in the wish that it will give hope to anyone who has experienced baby loss or is struggling to have a longed for baby. To show that even after the darkest storm a rainbow can appear. Little Miss H and Little Mister H are not the only rainbow babies. There are many of them. And I want to share the beautiful and poignant tales of these special little rainbows.…
Welcome back to the blog series My Rainbow Baby. I created My Rainbow Baby in the wish that it will give hope to anyone who has experienced baby loss or is struggling to have a longed for baby. To show that even after the darkest storm a rainbow can appear. Little Miss H and Little Mister H are not the only rainbow babies. There are many of them. And I want to share the beautiful and poignant tales of these special little rainbows.…