TRIGGER WARNING: Baby loss. The post “Medical Management Of A Missed Miscarriage” contains details of miscarriage and baby loss. This week is Baby Loss Awareness Week 2018. Our first miscarriage was over four years ago, yet I can remember it as if it were yesterday. Baby loss stays with you. And though time passes the memories still haunt you and the heartbreak remains. But the loss of a baby isn’t just an emotional experience. It’s also a very physical and…
Warning: The post “I’m jealous of Bridget Jones” contains spoilers and is about baby loss. It is 23:00 on Saturday evening and I’m sitting here wiping the tears from my face. Because I’ve just finished watching Bridget Jones’ Baby and now I’m filled with a mixture of emotions. If you haven’t seen it. Then do. It’s a bloody brilliant film. And hopefully, it won’t make you cry like I have. Yet, I was watching the film and I couldn’t help…
Dear Ruth, my Community Midwife I’ve been meaning to write this letter to you since Little Mister H was born. Yet there never seems to be the time. But today is International Day of the Midwife. So today is the right time to write a proper thank you letter to you. Because I’m so thankful and truly grateful for everything you did for me during my pregnancy with Little Mister H. I honestly don’t think I would have got through…
Sometimes when I write about my depression the words just flow. It’s as if they were always there just waiting to be written down in black and white. On other occasions, I want to write but the words aren’t forthcoming. They won’t flow. Words are created and deleted. Sentences are written and rewritten. Paragraphs are formed and unformed. I can start a post about one thing and then it becomes about something completely different. For example, when I sat down to…
There were moments when I was reading Zoë Clark-Coates’ first book, Saying Goodbye when I felt like Zoë had captured all my emotions about our four miscarriages. There are words and feelings that I still struggle to vocalise. Yet, Saying Goodbye has managed to capture all of these emotions and so much more. For sadly Zoë Clark-Coates understands baby loss. In Saying Goodbye she shares her personal story of baby loss. And how she and her husband Andy faced the loss of five babies. Shocked by the lack of…
This week is the second annual Pre and Postnatal Depression Awareness Week (#PNDAW17) run by the fantastic charity, the PANDAS Foundation. And this year the week is focused on raising awareness of prenatal mental health conditions. So I wanted to share my story of suffering from prenatal anxiety and depression after experiencing recurrent miscarriages. My story of Prenatal Anxiety and Depression At risk of Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Sadly, Mr H and I always knew that my pre-existing and long-term mental…
Trigger warning: you may find this post upsetting if you have experienced miscarriages. In a little over a week our rainbow baby boy will turn one. That is a whole year of having his sunny presence in our lives. And a year of knowing that the miscarriages are far behind us. My last miscarriage was in May 2015. And in September 2015 we were given the news that the miscarriages were unexplained. That there wasn’t a known reason for our…
Welcome back to my blog series, My Rainbow Baby. I am so sorry that I was not able to share a post last month. I was taking some time off from blogging to focus on myself and my family. I have created this blog series in the wish that it will give hope to anyone who has experienced baby loss or is struggling to have a longed for baby. To show that even after the darkest storm a rainbow can appear.…