I always knew that Little Miss H would be an amazing sister. That she would be kind and gentle to her sibling. She would be concerned for their welfare and look out for them.
She would also boss her baby brother or sister about. Demanding that they play with her. Telling them which character they were playing in her imaginary games. Probably a Disney Princess or a My Little Pony.
She would read them stories, show them how to paint and teach them how to dance to “Shake it off.”
She would help me choose the clothes they would wear and bring me their nappies and milk when needed.
Then when they were older, I would find them in a corner of the house, chatting and laughing together. Or rolling their eyes over something their embarrassing parents had done.
I knew that they would bicker and squabble, as all siblings do. But ultimately they would love one another and they would be there for each other.
But after having three miscarriages in a row I became convinced that Little Miss H would be an only child.
And as each miscarriage passed I couldn’t allow myself to imagine what it would be like to give our darling daughter a sibling. A playmate. A pal. A chum. A best friend forever.
And this broke my heart.
But now my heart is full of love because Little Mister H is in our lives. And Little Miss is, at last, the wonderful big sister that I had known she would be.
The Siblings Project – July 2016
A heart full of love
Two days after Little Mister H was born, I sat in the hospital and excitedly waited for Little Miss H to enter the room and meet her baby brother for the first time.
I had no idea what to expect. We had spent the whole of the second and third trimesters preparing Little Miss for the arrival of her baby brother. Yet, I still couldn’t anticipate what that initial meeting would be like.
And in the end, their meeting was more emotional and more perfect than anything I could ever have imagined.
Little Miss H was besotted from the moment she laid eyes on her baby brother.
She came into the hospital room full of excitement and I rushed to give her a hug. After a few nights away, I had missed her so much.
She then walked over to Little Mister H’s crib, stood on the stool provided and gazed adoringly at him.
After a few minutes, she toddled over to her bag and produced a bunny rattle that she had chosen as a gift for her baby brother. She placed it gently on the cot next to him and was delighted that he seemed to love his bunny rabbit.
At that moment, my heart was so full of love that I thought it would burst.
My heart was full of love for the new little man in our lives. Our son.
The baby that we thought we would never have. The tiny beautiful boy who brought a new chapter and a new beginning into our lives. The newborn baby that was a shining rainbow after the storm.
My heart was full of love for Little Miss H. Our darling daughter. Our first baby and now our eldest child.
I was so proud of her. She was not jealous or upset at the attention given to Little Mister H. Instead, she has taken his arrival in her stride and has been loving and gentle with her baby brother.
My heart was full of love for Mr H. My husband and the father of my babies. The man I married almost 8 years ago and love more each day.
This amazing person has stuck by me and supported me through all the miscarriages and the anxiety of the last pregnancy. He has loved me even when I have been completely unlovable.
And together, these three people and I, make the most awesome family.
Mrs H. Mr H. Little Miss H. Little Mister H.
Mummy. Daddy. Sister. Brother.
And they have filled my heart with love.