Finding Happiness

Nine reasons why

A black and white photograph from a wedding - the photo shows the groom's hand on the small of his new brides' dress - photo courtesy of Tara Lee Photography - Nine Reasons Why - Mrs H's favourite things

Nine years ago today I said “I do” to the most wonderful man I’ve ever met. The man who sees me for me. The man who loves me for me.

Mr H, you’re my best friend; my rock; my confidante; my lover; my companion and my soulmate.

You’re my husband and my Mister. And I love you so much.

Nine years ago, we shared the most fantastic day together. The sun shone and we were surrounded by friends and family.

Since then we’ve been through a lot.

Two house moves. Six pregnancies. Four miscarriages. Two babies. Multiple job changes. Emotional ups and downs. But we’ve come through it all together and we’re stronger as a result.

And if I had the choice, then I would do it all over again.

I would still choose to become your wife. I would still want to walk down the aisle knowing that I would see your face at the end. I’d still want to say “I do”! Because my life is so much happier with you in it.

I can’t imagine spending my life without you by my side.

I love you.

And these are nine (of the many) reasons why I love you. One reason for every year of our marriage.

Nine Reasons Why I love You

A photograph of a bride and groom, holding her with their backs to the camera, so you can clearly see the whole of the bride's wedding dress and veil - Nine Reasons Why I Love You - On the occasion of our 9th wedding anniversary - Mrs H's favourite things

1. You make me laugh

I never laugh more than I do when I’m with you. You have a very sarcastic and sometimes quite dark sense of humour. But it is just right for me. And you always make me laugh when I need it most.

I’ll always remember the time we were talking about my anxiety about death. You turned to me and with a completely straight face said:

“Dying and it being forever is not what you need to worry about. Dying and coming back as a brain-hungry zombie is what should worry you.”

I laughed so much. And saw how ludicrous it was to be worried about something that I couldn’t control.

2. You see me. Not my past or my depression. Just me.

When we first met, I resorted to my usual coping mechanism of blurting out my whole life history. You weren’t fazed at all. Instead, you wanted to know if I was ever going to ask you anything about yourself.

At that moment, although I was hideously embarrassed, I knew that you were different from the rest.

I knew that you saw Lucy. You didn’t see the broken girl who needed fixing. Or who had too much baggage. You just saw a cute girl who you wanted to spend time with.

3. You’re an amazing father

The times I love you the most are when you are with one of our children. You’re love for them is endless. And you’re the most amazing father.

A photograph of a bride and groom on a small boat on the Thames with a huge weeping willow in the background - Nine Reason Why I Love You - Mrs H's favourite things

4. You make me feel beautiful

I don’t have the greatest self-confidence. And I struggle with how I see myself. But when you look at me I feel beautiful.

5. You’re my rock

When we were preparing to get married I described you as my rock. And it is still true today. You’re my foundation and support. I am a stronger person because you’re there to hold my hand.

A wedding photograph - the photo shows the shoes and trouser legs of the groom and the hem of the bride's wedding dress - the photograph also show the cream rose petal confetti on the ground - Nine reasons why I love you - Mrs H's favourite things

6. You understand me

You see when I’m getting ill even before I do. You know exactly what I should be doing to look after my mental health. But you understand all the reasons why I often struggle to do this.

You know what makes me laugh and smile and what annoys me. You see what I’m capable of, when I doubt myself.

You understand me in a way that no one else does.

7.  You put up with all my silly ways

I’m not the easiest person to live with.

I’m even the woman, that got so drunk the first time I met your friends that I threw up on them. The second time I met them, I stuck an eye liner pencil in my eye and tore my cornea. And on the third occasion, I fell off a curb and broke my wrist.

Some people could say I’m a bit of a nightmare. That you’re a saint to put up with me. Especially as living with someone who suffers from mental health problems is an emotional rollercoaster.

But you put up with all my silly ways. You accept that life with me is unpredictable and never boring. And you love me for that.

8. You’re my companion

I love spending time with you. Life is always so much more fun when you’re around. And whatever I’m doing I want you by my side.

9. You brought music into my life 

Before I met you I didn’t understand what music really was. My musical taste was appalling. You introduced me to a new musical world.

And you also brought music into my life. The music of others and the music that you write, play and sing. Your songs are beautiful. They often bring me to tears and I’m in awe of your talent. Listening to you sing your songs brings me true happiness.

A photograph of a bride ad groom on their wedding day - the groom is kissing the bride on her head and she is smiling - Nine Reasons Why I Love You - Mrs H's favourite things

Our wedding day was filled with music. Songs that we had carefully chosen. Melodies and lyrics that spoke of the people we were and the couple we were to become.

And none more so then the song that we walked back down the aisle to as man and wife.

“And the love I bring
Will grow into a lasting thing
Put your heart on wings
That set you free
And as you rise
Up into the clearing skies
Maybe you will realize
You can lean on me”

                                                                     Lean on Me by Terry Callier


I love you Mr H. And thank you for nine wonderful years.

Your Mrs H


All the photographs in this post are courtesy of Tara Lee Photography.

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