Deciding to have children is a tough decision at the best of times. Deciding to start a family when you have chronic depression and anxiety, and take regular medication is another thing altogether. Years ago, I read an article in The Guardian that discusses the July 2014 guidelines that were issued to GPs by the National Institute of Clinical Excellence (NICE). These guidelines give doctors advice on how they should treat female patients who suffer from depression. In particular, it recommends that…
Depression during pregnancy
Dear Ruth, my Community Midwife I’ve been meaning to write this letter to you since Little Mister H was born. Yet there never seems to be the time. But today is International Day of the Midwife. So today is the right time to write a proper thank you letter to you. Because I’m so thankful and truly grateful for everything you did for me during my pregnancy with Little Mister H. I honestly don’t think I would have got through…
Suffering from Prenatal Anxiety and Depression following recurrent miscarriage #PNDAW17
Posted on September 7, 2017This week is the second annual Pre and Postnatal Depression Awareness Week (#PNDAW17) run by the fantastic charity, the PANDAS Foundation. And this year the week is focused on raising awareness of prenatal mental health conditions. So I wanted to share my story of suffering from prenatal anxiety and depression after experiencing recurrent miscarriages. My story of Prenatal Anxiety and Depression At risk of Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Sadly, Mr H and I always knew that my pre-existing and long-term mental…
The Sadness Of Not Being Able To Breastfeed My Babies – My Breastfeeding Story
Posted on August 4, 2017This week is World Breastfeeding Week 2017. A week dedicated to promoting, protecting and supporting breastfeeding. I agree with it wholeheartedly. But this week has made me sad. Because I still have issues about the fact that I was not able to breastfeed my babies. Little Miss H is now four years old. But even after all this time, I feel guilt that I was not able to breastfeed. And I feel a tug in my heart every time I…
Perinatal Mental Health #PNDAW16: It’s Okay Not To Be Okay
Posted on September 11, 2016Today marks the end of the first ever Pre & Post Natal Depression Awareness Week #PNDAW16 run by PANDAS (the UK's leading pre and post natal depression charity). In light of this, I wanted to share my story of perinatal mental health. My experience of perinatal mental illnesses may be slightly unusual as I have suffered from depression for almost 17 year; most of my adult life. At times, my mental health has been terrible. At other times it has been…
Little Mister H is one month old. It is hard to believe that our sweet boy has been in our lives for only one month. I can't remember what life was like before Little Mister H was part of our family. I was sad that I never completed a baby book or made a record of Little Miss H's development. So I have decided to record how Little Mister H changes from month to month. Starting at the very beginning with Little…
It is difficult to admit that something you have yearned for desperately has been a struggle. Ever since Little Miss H has been a few months old, I have wanted a second baby. The miscarriages that followed just made my desperation for that child more intense. Each loss took us further away from our longed for second child. But each loss made me more determined that we needed to become a family of four.…
How To Survive Pregnancy After Baby Loss
Posted on March 10, 2016Pregnancy after baby loss is a time of mixed emotions. There are many moments of happiness and joy. But there’s also anxiety and fear. For any woman, who is pregnant after a miscarriage or stillbirth, there is one thing that she wants to know. How to survive pregnancy after baby loss. Back in November 2015, I discovered that I was pregnant for the sixth time in 3 years. We’re lucky to have a beautiful little girl. But we’ve also experienced…