Baby Loss Mental Health Motherhood

How To Survive Pregnancy After Baby Loss

A photograph of a sunset in the background with a dandelion in the foreground and its seeds blowing in the wind- How To Survive Pregnancy After Baby Loss - Mrs H's favourite things

Pregnancy after baby loss is a time of mixed emotions. There are many moments of happiness and joy. But there’s also anxiety and fear. For any woman, who is pregnant after a miscarriage or stillbirth, there is one thing that she wants to know. How to survive pregnancy after baby loss.

Back in November 2015, I discovered that I was pregnant for the sixth time in 3 years.

We’re lucky to have a beautiful little girl. But we’ve also experienced the pain and grief of foumiscarriages.

Three of the miscarriages had been while trying to have our second child. And only a few months before discovering I was pregnant I’d been diagnosed with Unexplained Recurrent Miscarriage.

I found it difficult to accept that the miscarriages were unexplained. In many ways, I wanted there to be a reason why we’d lost four babies. And I’d hoped that there would be a simple treatment that would enable us to have our longed for baby.

There weren’t any answers. The only advice that I was given was to take a low dose of Soluble Aspirin from the day I got a positive test result until I was 28 weeks pregnant.

Going through pregnancy after baby loss was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The first trimester of my pregnancy was particularly tough. And I didn’t relax until our baby boy was in my arms. And I knew that we had our second rainbow baby.

During the pregnancy, I was worried and anxious. I had bad dreams, cried lots and generally didn’t want to do much more than sit on the sofa or sleep.

It’s wrong to say that I survived my pregnancy after baby loss. Instead, I somehow managed to drag my way through it.

But there were some things I did during the pregnancy that made the experience easier.

So if you’re pregnant or are trying for another baby after baby loss then here are some tips on how I managed to survive being pregnant after a diagnosis of Recurrent Miscarriage.

How To Survive Pregnancy After Baby Loss

Pregnancy after Baby Loss is a time of mixed emotions. There is happiness but also great worry. Emotions are heightened. This is how I survived the anxiety of my Pregnancy after being diagnosed with Unexplained Recurrent Miscarriages. The photograph include a wooden rainbow and rainbow confetti. As my baby and the Pregnancy After My Recurrent Miscarriages were like the rainbow after the storm - Surviving Pregnancy After Baby Loss - Mrs H's favourite things

1. Be Kind To Yourself

Years ago, I attended Cognitive Behavioural Therapy sessions and I was given this brilliant but often overlooked piece of advice. Be kind to yourself. I’m not always great at following it,  but it’s a great lesson for life.

Imagine how you’d talk to your best friend if she were going through a similar experience.

You’d be sympathetic and supportive. You’d let her air her worries as many times as she needed to. If she was upset then you would listen to her and comfort her. And you’d never berate her for feeling a certain way.

You’d advise her to make herself a priority and tell her to treat herself gently.

You’d tell her to go to bed early, have a long bubble bath, read her favourite book, eat chocolate or go for a walk. Anything that will help her relax and put a smile on her face.

Please, remember to be kind to yourself and be your own best friend.

2. Announce Your Pregnancy At A Time That Is Right For You

There is no law that says you have to announce your pregnancy after the 12-week scan.

We decided that there wasn’t any reason why we should hide this pregnancy.

Everyone knew that we wanted another baby, that I’ve had many miscarriages and that another miscarriage was a possibility.

I also know that I need a wide support network to help me cope when times are hard. And so Mr H and I told close friends and family.

If you feel that you need support to help you through this nerve-wracking few months, then tell people. However, you are also well within your rights not to tell anyone until you feel entirely comfortable to do so.

You need to do what is right for you. Your partner. Your family. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

3. Avoid Pregnancy Forums

Visiting an online pregnancy forum at this time in your pregnancy is one of the worst things that you can do.

During my first pregnancies, I was constantly on forums trying to find out what every twinge or pregnancy symptom meant.

But I never got the reassurance that I so desperately wanted. Instead, my anxiety levels sky-rocketed as I read various horror stories.

The only real reassurance you can get is from a medical professional and an early pregnancy scan. And even that might not be enough to stop you from worrying.

4. Get Professional Support When You Need It

If you have spotting or pains then you need to go to see your GP or midwife. Talk to them about how you are feeling and if it would help you then ask for them to arrange a scan.

Your GP and midwife are there to help you. If you have experienced baby loss then they will understand why you are nervous. And if they don’t then ask to see someone else.

There are also some amazing charities which provide resources and support for anyone going through a worrying pregnancy.


Tommy’s funds research into stillbirths, premature births and miscarriages. They also offer advice to parents-to-be.

The pregnancy information pages on their website are written by midwives and are packed full of practical advice. Their Facebook page is also run by midwives. Or if you would prefer to speak to a human being then you can call their midwife run PregnancyLine on 0800 0147 800.

The Miscarriage Association

The Miscarriage Association is a fabulous charity devoted to supporting those who have experienced miscarriage and it is definitely worth looking at their website.

They’ve produced a very helpful leaflet called Thinking about another pregnancy. This leaflet has lots of hints and tips on how to look after yourself and reduce your risk of having another miscarriage. They also have a helpline on 01924 200 799, which is open Monday to Friday, 09:00 to 16:00.

MAMA Academy

MAMA Academy is a charity which supports mums and midwives to help babies arrive safely. All the content on their website has been approved by The Royal College of Midwives. They also produce Wellbeing Wallets which are full of easy to understand information that will guide and help you in your pregnancy.

5. Avoid Automated Pregnancy Updates

This was something I learnt the hard way.

You want to know how your baby is developing. Of course, it’s only natural.

But there’s nothing more devastating then receiving a pregnancy update a few days after miscarrying. It’s heartbreaking.

With this pregnancy, I avoided pregnancy websites, forums and development updates. And I was much happier as a result.

6. Do Whatever You Need To Do To Survive

I wish I could tell you that it’ll all be okay, but I can’t.

However, every pregnancy is different and every baby is too. Just because you’ve miscarried before does not mean that you will again.

Getting through the first trimester after experiencing baby loss is extremely difficult. Some women may find it easier than I did. Others may struggle more. How you react to this stressful situation is completely personal and natural to you.

Do whatever will help you to get through these first few months of pregnancy.

It’s hard. But whatever happens, you’ll be okay.

A pinnable image for the post How To Survive Pregnancy After Baby Loss - the image is of a dandelion with the seeds blowing in the wind - Includes the text "How To Survive Pregnancy After Baby Loss" - How To Survive Pregnancy After Baby Loss - Mrs H's favourite things
If you’ve had a miscarriage or you’re pregnant after baby loss then please feel free to get in touch. You can reach me via twitter or Facebook.

I’d love to hear from you and I promise to lend a sympathetic ear. Sending you lots of love.





  • Reply
    Parenting Blogger of the Month: Lucy Howard | Tots 100
    December 9, 2019 at 11:24 am

    […] How To Survive Pregnancy After Baby Loss […]

  • Reply
    November 13, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    Miscarriages aren’t talked about a whole lot, and after having 2 myself I understand why, it’s a really horrible feeling. All the hope that comes with a positive test crushed right before your eyes, but you push through it. We tried everything from ovulation calculators (this one has some interesting information to supplements and so many other little things. We got there eventually, but it’s a painful journey that not many people can really understand unless it’s happened to them. Wonderful post! xxxx

  • Reply
    May 31, 2018 at 5:30 pm

    I needed to read this today!
    I’ve only recently found out I’m pregnant for the third time, after 2 miscarriages.
    I knew this would be hard but I don’t think I could have ever imagined how anxious I’d actually feel. Your honest and kind words have helped so much, so thank you for that
    Hopefully I’ll be having an early scan soon and this will be our rainbow baby xxx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      June 1, 2018 at 8:21 pm

      Ali, thank you so much for your comment. I’m so glad to hear that this post helped. I honestly found my pregnancy after four miscarriages one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. Please be kind to yourself and remember to put yourself first. I hope that you get an early scan and that you get to meet your rainbow baby. Sending love and hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    September 29, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    Yes. All of this. Yes.
    This is pregnancy 2 but I’m terrified. I cry a lot (more than people know) and every appointment I dread because I fear the worse. Then end up sobbing with relief and release. I don’t think I really believe I’ll make it through yet. 19 weeks tomorrow and heard the baby’s heartbeat today.
    I’m hard pressed to allow myself a glimmer of hope that there might be gold at the end of the rainbow. I should definitely be more kind to myself.
    Thank you for sharing too.

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      October 1, 2017 at 9:00 pm

      Awww, thank you for your comment. It is so hard being pregnant after baby loss. It is a time of great anxiety. And that is no surprise. It is wonderful to hear that you saw the baby’s heartbeat and that you’re 19 weeks. Please try to be kind to yourself. And don’t be at all ashamed of how you feel. I’m wishing you all the best and please do get in contact with me if you need a sympathetic ear. Hugs Lucy xxxx

      • Reply
        November 16, 2017 at 8:13 am

        25 weeks and counting now… the viability milestone was an emotional one. Got some serious wriggles in my belly now. Think Baby is doing lengths! All is well with my little

  • Reply
    September 6, 2017 at 7:21 pm

    Thank you so much for this post. So much of what you’ve shared really resonates with me. I found out that we’re pregnant again after losing a baby early this summer. It’s so strange to feel like I can’t be excited or shouldn’t let myself hope that this one will be ok. It’s like I’m always on guard. Even though the symptoms are there, the pregnancy doesn’t quite feel real in many ways. I’ve found myself dipping into those pregnancy forums desperate for reassurance and, you’re right, they only up my anxiety. I needed your advice to get through these next weeks, whatever they may hold. I’m grateful for you and hopeful our rainbow baby is on his or her way too. xoxo

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      September 6, 2017 at 8:42 pm

      Oh Annie, thank you for your comment. I wish I could give you a huge hug. It’s so hard feeling that you can’t be happy about being pregnant. But I do think it is a way of protecting yourself. And protecting your heart after experiencing the loss of a baby. I’m so glad that you were able to get some comfort from this post. I really wish you all the best. Please keep in touch and if you ever need to chat then I am here. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Jenny Carter
    July 4, 2017 at 7:00 pm

    Wow what a lovely post! You have mentioned so many things that have gone through my mind. I often feel very embarrassed and lonely about my miscarriages, and although it’s not nice to read other people going through this at the same time I feel less alone and it’s good to read how other people cope with it all. I too have had 4 miscarriages, 3 before my son and 1 since. I too struggle with no explanation for my miscarriages, I was told I am just unlucky which I find hard to believe. Hoping for my rainbow baby number 2 soon. Thank you so much MrsH! Xxx

  • Reply
    May 4, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Hi Lucy,
    This a lovely reassuring post. We lost our first pregnancy at 9weeks and are trying to figure out what is next. Loved your advice and should there be a rainbow I’m sure to be back to read again. Thank you.

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      May 7, 2017 at 4:18 pm

      Oh lovely, I feel for you, I really do. It is so hard but please don’t give up and if you ever want to talk then I am here. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Julie Sullivan
    April 8, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    I definitely agree with what you said here! Thankyou so much for sharing this information and for sharing your story! I’ve been encouraged reading through your other posts as well.

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      April 8, 2017 at 8:47 pm

      Thanks so much for your lovely comment. I really hope this information helps. And please email me if you ever want to chat. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    April 3, 2017 at 11:43 pm

    What a beautiful article. I’ve lost 3 babies, and delivered 4 healthy ones. The fear and anxiety that come with that next pregnancy can kill your spirit. I remember each time I lost a baby, just before I “found out” I felt like I *knew* something was wrong. And the rest of the pregnancy leading up to that, I was waiting for that sinking feeling to set in.

    Thano you for sharing your experience.

  • Reply
    December 11, 2016 at 3:57 am

    Thanks for writing this, I had a positive test this morning & I’m terrified of whats to come! My first pregnancy was a dream & I have a beautiful almost 8 year old girl, my second I misscarried at 7 weeks then my third was ectopic & a nightmare. I’m trying to distract myself & I’m going to try to not stress over every little thing, but it’s going to be tough since I’m a worrier by nature. I’m still in shock & a bit detatched not wanting to be happy about this new possibility, but we have been trying for over a year so I have some excitement I’m trying to suppress. Thanks again for the advice. ❌⭕❌⭕

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      December 11, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      Oh Amy, good luck. I completely understand the feeling of being excited but trying not to be because you don’t want to be disappointed. But finding out that your pregnant is great. Because it is one step along the way to having your second baby. I really hope that you get there. Be kind to yourself. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Single Mum Speaks
    December 8, 2016 at 7:41 am

    Just saw this on Twitter and wanted to say I felt the same way during my pregnancy after having a miscarriage previously. Hope everything went well for you.

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      December 9, 2016 at 12:23 am

      Thank you for your lovely comment. Pregnancy after a miscarriage is so tough. Thankfully Little Mister H was born safely in July. He is a cutie. And to have him makes everything else worth it. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Sarah Quell
    November 19, 2016 at 8:23 am

    This is really good advice. And yes I felt nervous until I held a healthy baby in my arms. Unfortunately I had unsupportive partner. Congratulations on sharing & helping others

  • Reply
    October 16, 2016 at 2:25 am

    Thank you so much for this. I am currently 6 weeks pregnant after 2 miscarriages. This really helped a lot. Never realized how scary being pregnant was until I lost 2. Thank you again.

  • Reply
    Amber S
    September 19, 2016 at 9:25 pm

    I found this blog on Pinterest. I just found out on Saturday that I’m pregnant. This is my fourth pregnancy. I had a molar pregnancy in 2013, a miscarriage early last November, and an early miscarriage in May. I am terrified. I know that the Lord has a plan for me, but I just want this baby so bad. I haven’t let myself get excited yet and that makes me sad. Anyway, thank you for this blog (and I’m keeping off the pregnancy blogs!).

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      September 19, 2016 at 11:27 pm

      Oh Amber, thank you so much for commenting and reading my post. I really feel for you and I hope so much that you have a successful pregnancy. It is sad not being able to get excited about being pregnant but it is a form of self-preservation. I found that hoping that this pregnancy would be okay only made the heartbreak harder to bare. Just try to take one day at a time. And remember that this is a different pregnancy and a different baby. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. And please feel free to contact me if you want to talk to someone. The fear of the first three months can be so lonely. But I really would hate for you to feel alone. Massive hugs to you. Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    July 28, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    Lovely tips to help someone going through an immensely difficult period of their live. I 100% agree with staying away from pregnancy forums and isolating yourself off from those pregnancy updates until you are emotional ready and stable – grief is a tricky, unpredictable thing. Really commend you on posting about such an emotional, upsetting part of life to help others. Oh and sending big hugs! xxx

  • Reply
    Emily @
    July 18, 2016 at 11:56 am

    Thank you for addressing the “Telling Others”. For my first pregnancy, we told people right away at 5 weeks. Friends literally gave me blanks stares before being excited and asked, “why are you telling us so early?” I made two comments in my reply:
    1)We want support if something were to happen.
    2) We believe human life starts at conception, thus every life should be celebrated no matter what.
    3) It is our baby, we don’t have to follow that “rule” if we do not want to.

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      July 18, 2016 at 8:19 pm

      Hi Emily. Thanks for your comment. I totally agree with you. I really don’t think that there should be a rule. You should feel allowed to tell people as and when you want to. With my first pregnancy in 2012, we didn’t tell anyone. But then when I miscarried at 11 weeks, had to go into hospital and had time off work, it was heartbreaking telling people that I had lost a baby they didn’t even know I was carrying. And I think many of my friends and family found it difficult to empathise. After that we told people as and when we felt like it. Losing a baby is tragic. Heart breaking and life-altering. But it is not shameful and therefore should not be something that you need to hide. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    April 6, 2016 at 11:10 am

    I needed to read this. I don’t know how I am going to get to 12 weeks. I am currently 9 weeks; saw and heard baby’s heartbeat at 8w5days and still very anxious. We had 2 back to back miscarriages last year. I have two little girls to chase around but it doesn’t seem to get me through the days faster. I am constantly analyzing everything. I know this is a different baby with a different story but it’s hard. Any other advice?

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      April 6, 2016 at 12:10 pm

      Awww, Caity. Thank you for your comment. And I hope this post helped. I wish that I could give you a big hug. It is so hard and I am not sure how I got through those first 12 weeks. It is all a blur. I know that there were a lot of tears and repetitive conversations. And even though I had two scans before my 12 week scan, I was still constantly anxious. I think that my only big piece of advice is to just be kind to yourself. Accept that it is not going to be an easy few weeks but that you will get through it. And do what you need to, to survive. Ask for lots of love and support from those around you and try to distract yourself as much as possible. I know that this is all easier said than done and I really understand how you feel. I wish I could tell you it will all be fine. And I hope with all my heart that you have a successful 12 week scan and that you get your happy ending. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    March 19, 2016 at 11:36 am

    Oh I love this – thank you! It actually made me cry a little bit. I’m 13 weeks pregnant after two miscarriages last year and I agree with everything you’ve said, dragging myself through the first trimester has been tough. I really did just want to sit on the sofa the whole time (no chance with two busy boys though!)
    I told friends but not family, this was right for us and I got so much support from some lovely people around me, which was a massive help.
    It is sooooo lovely to know I’m not the only one with all these thoughts and worries, so thank you. The advice here is brilliant and will really help some people who are struggling their way through this at the moment.
    Take care and keep being kind to yourself xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:20 pm

      Dear Michelle. Thank you so much for your lovely message. I am sorry that this post made you cry. But massive congratulations on your pregnancy. Reaching 13 weeks is an amazing milestone. Even though it may not seem it. I am now 23 weeks pregnant and I am still struggling to relax. And I don’t think I will fully until Little Mister H is lying peacefully in my arms. I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes well. And please email or message me if you would like to chat. I know how important it is, to not feel alone at these times. Massive hugs to you and your family. Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Heledd - Running in Lavender
    March 15, 2016 at 4:25 pm

    Ah Lucy I’m so thrilled form you! Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. My main advice would always be to be kind to yourself – and of course look after yourself. You deserve this so much, try and enjoy your pregnancy a little now. #sundaystars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:23 pm

      Thanks for your beautiful comment, lovely. I am now beginning to relax and enjoy the pregnancy. But I am still being kind to myself and I just can’t wait for July and the birth of my baby boy. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Mum in Brum
    March 15, 2016 at 11:22 am

    This is such brilliant advice and will be so reassuring to anybody who is pregnant after having a miscarriage. I had a miscarriage early on and when I got pregnant again I really did find it so hard to get excited and start thinking about having an actual baby until well into the second trimester. I really didn’t feel truly at ease until after 30 weeks. I think people forget that not everyone has the same exciting experience of pregnancy. xxx #SundayStars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:26 pm

      Thank you for your comment. It is so true – people do forget that pregnancy can be such a nerve wracking and difficult time for some. When I told people I asked them not to congratulate me. Because until we were past the 12 week mark, I really didn’t feel that there was anything to celebrate. But I really hope that this advice will help anyone going through a similar experience. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    March 15, 2016 at 8:25 am

    What a beautiful, honest and informative post. Thanks so much for sharing this x #sundaystars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:28 pm

      Thank you for you kind comment. I really appreciate it. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Hayley @hayleyfromhome
    March 14, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    This sounds like such good advice, I know how hard it has been for you and I think you have always got to do what is best for you. I hope the rest of the pregnancy is better for you, keep growing strong little baby H xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:29 pm

      Awwww, thanks lovely. It has been tough and I really wish that I had been able to enjoy the pregnancy more. But I am now making a conscious effort to enjoy it and appreciate every day. But I still can’t wait for the day that I get to hold my baby boy in my arms. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Mummy here and there
    March 14, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    I miscarried then had a successful pregnancy. Then miscarried and then had my second son. It is hard thing to go through but knowing that every baby is different and that what happened once won’t happen the next. Spending toy.lots of love and remember feeling so glad that the second trimester arrived. It ws get a hell of a lot easier when you.feel the baby kick etc. I wish you all the best with this pregnancy X #Sundaystars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:35 pm

      Awww, thanks so much for your lovely comment. I am so sorry that you have experienced miscarriage. It is a tragic thing to go through. But you are so right, it is very important to treat each pregnancy differently. I am now 23 weeks pregnant and starting to enjoy the pregnancy. Although, I won’t relax fully until I have our baby at home with me and we are a family of four. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    My Petit Canard
    March 13, 2016 at 11:12 pm

    Hi lovely, its so great to hear that you are feeling a little more relaxed now that the first trimester has passed. These are some really great pieces of advice that I think would stand any woman that feels anxious about their pregnancy in good stead. I think the links to the charities are particularly great as sometimes you just arent sure where to go, who to talk to or how to get help. Hopefully you’ll enjoy and settle into the rest of your pregnancy and it’ll start to fly by 🙂 Emily x #SundayStars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:38 pm

      Thanks for your message, beautiful Emily. I think knowing that there are people that you can talk to is so important. And calling on charities is important at this time. These are trained professionals and are there to help. I am now enjoying my pregnancy. Although, I know that I can’t relax fully. But what pregnant woman can?!?! I do love being a member of the blogging bump club with some other gorgeous bloggers. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Everything Mummy
    March 13, 2016 at 8:37 pm

    I think the first one being kind to you self is just so important and I hope you continue to do so for the rest of your pregnancy and beyond, so happy for you and your growing little bump! xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:41 pm

      Thanks darling. I really struggle to be kind to myself but it is definitely important in this pregnancy. And will still be important when I have two children. I still can’t quite believe that. I will have two children! Argh and yay – all at the same time. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Megan - Truly Madly Kids
    March 13, 2016 at 6:23 pm

    You are providing such a wonderful resource for other people in your position. I really admire how you’ve turned this into such a positive force. You first point is so important and so very true #sundaystars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:43 pm

      Thanks for your gorgeous comment. You are so lovely. I really feel it is so important that other woman experiencing pregnancy after miscarriage know where they can turn. I don’t want them to feel alone or that their feelings and thoughts are wrong. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Sarah Howr
    March 13, 2016 at 4:57 pm

    Really good advice Lucy. I can imagine with your worries and all the shitty symptoms of the first trimester it has been so hard!! I think telling people for support and looking after yourself is so important. So pleased you have hit 20 weeks and all ok xx thanks for hosting xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:45 pm

      Awwww, thanks lovely. It certainly didn’t help having all my hormones running riot in the first trimester. I was a bit of an emotional mess. And so I did what I needed to, to get through those first few months. Hopefully, by sharing, some of this advice it will help other woman also struggling during this time. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    March 13, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    A lot of great advice here. I remember the level of anxiety that I had when my wife first got pregnant. I had been through years of multiple miscarriages with my ex and didn’t want to explain that to my wife, but it was a difficult time

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:49 pm

      Thanks so much for your comment. I am so sorry to hear that your ex-wife went through multiple miscarriages. It is a tragedy for a couple and can put a huge strain on a relationship. And it must be so hard to stop those memories and fears influencing your present and future. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    March 13, 2016 at 12:48 pm

    I can only imagine how tough your pregnancy has been on you. A friend of mine went through something very similar and she confided in our little group a fair few times for support. A strong support network is key in any hardship or difficulty and can help make those harder days just a little bit simpler. #SundayStars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      Oh gosh, you are completely right. Having a support network at these times is so important. I am very lucky to have some really wonderful friends who have been the most amazing support throughout all my pregnancies, miscarriages and this pregnancy. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    March 13, 2016 at 9:18 am

    This is such a helpful post Lucy, it’s going to be valuable to so many people. It’s not easy talking about the tough times but you’ve found a way of helping others by sharing your own experiences. I’m super thrilled that everything is going well for you!! I’ll be following your journey and thinking of you. Lots of love xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 25, 2016 at 10:57 pm

      Oh honey, thank you so much. I find it really helps me to talk about these experiences. And to try and turn these issues into a positive by reaching out and helping other people going through a similar situation. I hate to think of people feeling isolated and alone when there are support networks out there. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    March 13, 2016 at 9:01 am

    This post is so helpful and has some really amazing resources on. We have suffered multiple miscarriages and an ectopic and I completely agree that after having something like that happen receiving a pregnancy update email is so heartbreaking. I am pleased you are feeling better after the scan and very excited to hear you are expecting a little boy! loved your baking reveal post. xx

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 26, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      Awwww, thank you so much. That is very kind of you. I am really sorry to hear about your miscarriages and your eptopic pregnancy. That is heartbreaking. And pregnancy updates are the worst. I haven’t signed up for any this pregnancy and I feel so much better as a result. Sending lots of love Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Nat Halfpenny
    March 13, 2016 at 8:38 am

    Great writing Lucy about such a hard subject. I am so happy that things are going well for you now, I completely empathize about you not relaxing until your little boy is here. Very understandable. Take Care!

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 26, 2016 at 6:20 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment. I am finally beginning to relax a little. But I am having to make a very conscious decision to do that. I will feel so much happier in July. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Crummy Mummy
    March 13, 2016 at 8:36 am

    These are all great tips. I felt 20 weeks was a milestone when I was expecting Little B and started to relax a little bit more, but not much! It was reassuring to finally feel him moving a lot every day by then, whereas earlier on in pregnancy there’s not a lot to tell you whether everything is ‘ok’ or not… #sundaystars

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 26, 2016 at 6:24 pm

      Thanks for your lovely comment. You are completely right, feeling baby boy move regularly is very reassuring. And 20 weeks did feel like a milestone. I will feel even happier when I get to 24 weeks on Thursday. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    mackenzie glanville
    March 13, 2016 at 7:07 am

    This is such fantastic post. I wish I had read this when I was going through my pregnancy after miscarriage. It was both the best and the most terrifying time of my life. The internet can make you worry so much, like you say you look up a symptom wanting to be reassured and end up worrying 100 times more! I agree with your advice, be kind to yourself, really kind! I also found I needed to still allow myself to grieve my loss as well as celebrate the gift of life growing inside of me. Get lots of hugs from your partner too and a foot massage is always nice!! #SundayStars

  • Reply
    Lindi Mogale
    March 13, 2016 at 6:24 am

    I just want to give you a hug congratulations on your pregnancy and our prayers are with you and your family as you wait for baba. Thanks for hosting the Sundaystars linky

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 26, 2016 at 6:21 pm

      Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Hannah Budding Smiles
    March 13, 2016 at 5:45 am

    Big hugs lovely, this is a really good post that will help a lot of people, bereaved parents as well as those wanting to support friends and family who are pregnant again after a loss xx

  • Reply
    Kellie Kearney
    March 12, 2016 at 11:41 pm

    I’ve been very fortunate and never miscarried. I’m on baby number 4 now. I’ve had some friends who have had several and it hurts me so bad inside.
    One thing you mentioned was the update (apps) and forums. Two friends mentioned it before, to avoid them.

    Great tips considering the circumstances. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly

  • Reply
    March 12, 2016 at 8:10 pm

    This is such a great post one in sure many women will find of great comfort. So good of you to open up and be so honest. I’m really pleased your feeling a bit more positive xxx

  • Reply
    Right Royal Mother
    March 12, 2016 at 6:49 pm

    This is a very kind, thoughtful post and I am sure anyone reading it who has gone through miscarriage will find it useful. I’m lucky enough not to have lost a baby but know several women who have and I don’t think it’s talked about enough. Thank you for sharing and all the very best for your July baby (my first born has a July birthday – lots of picnics ahead!) 🙂 #SundayStars

  • Reply
    Lucy Melissa Smith (Hello Beautiful Bear)
    March 11, 2016 at 8:40 pm

    What a brave post sweetheart 🙂 Well done for sharing this.
    I’m sure that this will help lots of other people in the same or similar situation and it’s a comforting read, it really is.
    You are looking wonderful and I think you’re so right to say to care for yourself like you would a friend, to tell who you want – whenever you want – and especially if you need support and to do whatever you need to. So very true and important, these really are such thoughtful tips.

  • Reply
    Ally Mother Under Measure
    March 10, 2016 at 7:09 pm

    Oh lovely, I’m so sorry you had a tough time with it, but your baby boy will be worth it all when he arrives. These tips are great, and although I have never had the misfortune of a miscarriage, I did suffer from hyperemesis gravidarum and although it’s nowhere near the same experience, I found that these tips could also be carried over to dealing with that also. Thank you for a wonderfully open post as usual. Sending love and hugs x

  • Reply
    Life as Mum
    March 10, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    Oh bless you hun! Was sad reading this but I am so glad you have reached 20 weeks! Just another 20 to go lovely. Crossing my fingers for you! Wishing you all the best for the rest of this pregnancy.

  • Reply
    Mini Travellers/Mini Ventures
    March 10, 2016 at 11:18 am

    Really brave of you to be getting all this out there Lucy and I’m sure some will find some support and hope in your posts.

  • Reply
    m williams
    March 10, 2016 at 9:45 am

    Sound advice. I think being kind to yourself is very underrated. Looking after yourself physically and mentally is so important at this time.

  • Reply
    Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks
    March 10, 2016 at 9:23 am

    I totally agree with all of this – especially the pregnancy forums one. I know a lot of people go on for a glimmer of hope and the “my sisters husbands brothers goldfishes cousins wife had that and now has twins” but if the happy ending doesn’t happen to you it can be even more devastating.

    Oh and eep – a baby boy!!!!!

  • Reply
    March 10, 2016 at 9:09 am

    I’m 19 weeks pregnant after 2 miscarriages last year. Completely agree with all your tips. Online forums are the worst for reassurance.
    The first 12 weeks felt like an absolute age & whilst an early pregnancy scan confirmed there was a beating heart in there (further than I’d got before) it was only reassuring for a short time. My closest friends & family knew what was going on and I also think it’s important not to go through miscarriage all on your own. The 12 week scan was a turning point for me & I started feeling much more confident & relaxed about my pregnancy. Still find myself worrying sometimes though & always on the look out for bleeding. I can’t wait till 20w scan next week to be sure all is well. Hearing heartbeat at midwife & starting to feel some movement makes it easier to feel some confidence. I can’t help feeling envious of those mums who never gave miscarriage a thought & sailed through their pregnancies. But everything we’ve been through makes us both appreciate where we are now, and this little bubba is definitely much wanted.
    Congrats on making it to halfway. Wishing you a healthy, happy rest of your pregnancy X

  • Reply
    Mummy Lala (Laura)
    March 10, 2016 at 8:51 am

    I’m absolutely terrified of a miscarriage happening again if we luckily fall pregnant. I think I’ll be a nervous wreck in those first few months.

    Although I need to get past the stage of thinking we’ll never be able to have another baby! I can actually now start envisioning another baby for us and for weeks I’ve not been able to see that. I think I’m getting past the negative thinking stage!

    Anyway, these are great tips and I’ve learnt from experience not going on pregnancy forums as they really do cause a lot of anxiety. You have to remember that each pregnancy is a completely different experience.

    Laura x

    • Reply
      Mrs H
      March 14, 2016 at 11:17 pm

      Oh honey, thank you for your lovely comment. And it is only natural to think as you are. I had really convinced myself that I was going to have to experience a lot more miscarriages and that maybe we would never have a second baby. Although it seems negative, I also think that it is preparing yourself for the worst possible outcome. When you do start trying again or indeed become pregnant again then please don’t feel you have to go through all the anxiety alone. You can always email me and I’m happy to chat or just lend a sympathetic ear. But do stay of the pregnancy forums and hard as it is to remember, try to tell yourself that every pregnancy and every baby is different and the baby that is meant to be will be. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  • Reply
    Katy (What Katy Said)
    March 10, 2016 at 8:36 am

    Great tips lovely. Pregnancy updates are the worst aren’t they? I learned that the hard way too. Are you going to Britmums as I want to give you a huge squeeeeeeeeze xxxx

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