Our first baby was due on 14th January 2013. Although, I struggle to remember the due dates for the other babies I’ll always remember the day that our first baby was due to enter our lives. Sadly, that little boy or girl was never meant to be ours to hold. At 11 weeks pregnant, we discovered that the baby was dead. Their heartbeat had stopped when I was 6 weeks pregnant. When the midwife told me that the baby didn’t…
grief
Trigger warning: you may find this post upsetting if you have experienced miscarriages. In a little over a week our rainbow baby boy will turn one. That is a whole year of having his sunny presence in our lives. And a year of knowing that the miscarriages are far behind us. My last miscarriage was in May 2015. And in September 2015 we were given the news that the miscarriages were unexplained. That there wasn’t a known reason for our…
Dear Baby, Today could have been your 4th birthday. Today your Daddy and I could have been singing happy birthday to you. We could have watched you open your presents. Seen you smile as you blew out the candles on your cake. We could have taken you to see the animals at London Zoo. Maybe you would have asked to take one of your new toys with you.…
Dear friend It is traditional in these circumstances to say I am sorry for your loss. But those words seem empty and insulting. They imply that you have been careless and misplaced something valuable... a wallet, your keys, your phone. Those words don't convey that your world has come crashing down. They don't show that your heart is splintering into pieces. They don't speak of the shattering sobs that run through your whole body late at night. They don't tell of the emptiness that often manifests…