Trigger warning: This post has references to attempted suicide and overdoses. If you have personal experience of this subject then you may find it triggering. 17 years ago today I took my final overdose. It was one of a number of attempts to commit suicide. But it was the one that changed my life forever. And it is a night that I will never forget. The Night That I Will Never Forget After the overdose, I was taken to the…
Today is Time To Talk Day 2019, an awareness day run by the campaign Time To Change. This year’s campaign is about bringing together the right ingredients to have a conversation about mental health. This has inspired me to write a post about why I talk about my depression. And why it is so important that we continue to talk about mental health. I was first diagnosed with depression in 1999, at the age of 20 years old. I was…
I’ve suffered from depression for 20 years now. During that time I have changed as a person. I am not the same girl that was diagnosed with depression in 1999. I have had to change to get better. To fight the devil that is depression. The stalker that is poor mental health. But I never expected that suffering from depression would teach me some valuable lessons about life. Lessons that I’m not always brilliant at following. Yet when I do…
I often believe that people who suffer with mental health problems get a raw deal. They are considered sad individuals who can barely crack a smile. That they aren’t able to feel happiness or joy. This is untrue. I can feel great happiness and joy. I can feel the excited happiness that comes when you dance around the room to your favourite song. The happiness that comes from chatting with your best friends. I know the contented happiness that comes…
This week is Mental Health Awareness Week. It’s a week that is hugely important, as we still have such a long way to go before we’ve broken the stigma that surrounds mental ill health. Last year, I wrote a post for Mental Health Awareness Week claiming that I was going to start sharing my story of living with depression, beginning with my nervous breakdown and diagnosis. Yet, these posts never materialised. Writing your own tale of living with depression is…
Trigger warning: If you have personal experience of suicide or suicidal depression then you may find this post upsetting. If you’re currently struggling with suicidal thoughts and you’re in danger then please call 999 and request an ambulance immediately. My dear girl As I write this letter to you, I have tears pricking the back of my eyes. My heart hurts thinking of you lying in that hospital bed. Because last night you took an overdose. It was your fourth.…
Before I became a mother I could never imagine turning my back on a crying child. Especially not MY crying child. Of course, I knew that children had tantrums but I foolishly imagined that my children would be different. They would be angels. And they would never tantrum in public or get so upset that I wouldn’t be able to calm them. I also thought that I would be a natural mother. That from the moment they were born I…
I have suffered from depression for 18 years of my life. And I will suffer with it until the day I die. Depression is a part of me. I’ve had it for the majority of my adult life. It has made me the person I am today. I know I’ve talked about it on this blog but I’ve mainly written pretty prose about feelings or the fear of relapsing. I haven’t ever talked about the nitty-gritty of living with depression. This…