Sometimes when I write about my depression the words just flow. It’s as if they were always there just waiting to be written down in black and white. On other occasions, I want to write but the words aren’t forthcoming. They won’t flow. Words are created and deleted. Sentences are written and rewritten. Paragraphs are formed and unformed. I can start a post about one thing and then it becomes about something completely different. For example, when I sat down to…
Over the past few months, I’ve begun to listen to Podcasts. One of my favourite podcasts is Happier by Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project. In one of her recent podcasts, she shared her list of 18 things she plans to do in 2018. As soon as I heard Gretchen and her sister discuss their 18 for 2018 lists, I knew that I had to write one for my blog. It’s part bucket list and part goal setting but…
Trigger warning: If you have personal experience of suicide or suicidal depression then you may find this post upsetting. If you’re currently struggling with suicidal thoughts and you’re in danger then please call 999 and request an ambulance immediately. My dear girl As I write this letter to you, I have tears pricking the back of my eyes. My heart hurts thinking of you lying in that hospital bed. Because last night you took an overdose. It was your fourth.…
Before I became a mother I could never imagine turning my back on a crying child. Especially not MY crying child. Of course, I knew that children had tantrums but I foolishly imagined that my children would be different. They would be angels. And they would never tantrum in public or get so upset that I wouldn’t be able to calm them. I also thought that I would be a natural mother. That from the moment they were born I…
This week is the second annual Pre and Postnatal Depression Awareness Week (#PNDAW17) run by the fantastic charity, the PANDAS Foundation. And this year the week is focused on raising awareness of prenatal mental health conditions. So I wanted to share my story of suffering from prenatal anxiety and depression after experiencing recurrent miscarriages. My story of Prenatal Anxiety and Depression At risk of Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Sadly, Mr H and I always knew that my pre-existing and long-term mental…
On Monday the singer Sinead O’Connor posted a heartbreaking video to her Facebook page. O’Connor films the footage in a grotty hotel in New Jersey. And in it she is clearly in the middle of a depressive episode. She is distraught. Beside herself. Her thoughts tumble into one another. And as you watch you can see and hear her heart break and her soul rip into thousands of tiny pieces. It is a horrid video to watch. Especially for someone,…
This week is World Breastfeeding Week 2017. A week dedicated to promoting, protecting and supporting breastfeeding. I agree with it wholeheartedly. But this week has made me sad. Because I still have issues about the fact that I was not able to breastfeed my babies. Little Miss H is now four years old. But even after all this time, I feel guilt that I was not able to breastfeed. And I feel a tug in my heart every time I…
I was feeling quite blue in March. So I was thrilled when the lovely people from Pebblewise said that they would send me that month’s Sunshine Subscription Box to review. “A monthly box of surprises thoughtfully handpicked to raise spirits and bring a little sunshine into everyone’s lives.” I love the idea of a box of goodies that has been picked especially to brighten someone’s day. There are often times when I’ve wanted to send a gift to a friend who has been…