Our first baby was due on 14th January 2013. Although, I struggle to remember the due dates for the other babies I’ll always remember the day that our first baby was due to enter our lives. Sadly, that little boy or girl was never meant to be ours to hold. At 11 weeks pregnant, we discovered that the baby was dead. Their heartbeat had stopped when I was 6 weeks pregnant. When the midwife told me that the baby didn’t…
There were moments when I was reading Zoë Clark-Coates’ first book, Saying Goodbye when I felt like Zoë had captured all my emotions about our four miscarriages. There are words and feelings that I still struggle to vocalise. Yet, Saying Goodbye has managed to capture all of these emotions and so much more. For sadly Zoë Clark-Coates understands baby loss. In Saying Goodbye she shares her personal story of baby loss. And how she and her husband Andy faced the loss of five babies. Shocked by the lack of…
Trigger warning: you may find this post upsetting if you have experienced miscarriages. In a little over a week our rainbow baby boy will turn one. That is a whole year of having his sunny presence in our lives. And a year of knowing that the miscarriages are far behind us. My last miscarriage was in May 2015. And in September 2015 we were given the news that the miscarriages were unexplained. That there wasn’t a known reason for our…
Welcome back to the blog series My Rainbow Baby. I created My Rainbow Baby in the wish that it will give hope to anyone who has experienced baby loss or is struggling to have a longed for baby. To show that even after the darkest storm a rainbow can appear. Little Miss H and Little Mister H are not the only rainbow babies. There are many of them. And I want to share the beautiful and poignant tales of these special little rainbows.…
I’ve been quite open recently that my mental health hasn’t been brilliant. It certainly isn’t terrible but I haven’t been myself. I’ve been feeling anxious and unmotivated. There have been days when I have felt tearful, unable to control my mood and I have just wanted to clamber back into bed and sleep. My Mental Health There are many small reasons why my depression has relapsed. The stress and sadness of the recurrent miscarriages and the anxiety I felt in my…
Welcome back to my blog series, My Rainbow Baby. I am so sorry that I was not able to share a post last month. I was taking some time off from blogging to focus on myself and my family. I have created this blog series in the wish that it will give hope to anyone who has experienced baby loss or is struggling to have a longed for baby. To show that even after the darkest storm a rainbow can appear.…
Dear Baby, Today could have been your 4th birthday. Today your Daddy and I could have been singing happy birthday to you. We could have watched you open your presents. Seen you smile as you blew out the candles on your cake. We could have taken you to see the animals at London Zoo. Maybe you would have asked to take one of your new toys with you.…
Welcome to the first My Rainbow Baby post of 2017. I have created this series in the wish that it will give hope to anyone who has experienced baby loss or is struggling to have a longed for baby. Little Miss H and Little Mister H are not the only rainbow babies. There are many of them. And I want to share the beautiful and poignant tales of these special little rainbows. I am inviting others to tell these stories. To talk about…