Dear Baby, Today could have been your 4th birthday. Today your Daddy and I could have been singing happy birthday to you. We could have watched you open your presents. Seen you smile as you blew out the candles on your cake. We could have taken you to see the animals at London Zoo. Maybe you would have asked to take one of your new toys with you.…
Welcome to the second post in the My rainbow baby blog series. I have created this series in the wish that it will give hope to anyone who has experienced baby loss or is struggling to have a longed for baby. Little Miss H and Little Mister H are not the only rainbow babies. There are many of them. And I want to share the beautiful and poignant tales of these special little rainbows. I am inviting others to tell these stories. To…
"A rainbow baby is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison." Quotation taken from the Kicks Count website. Four years ago, I had never heard of the term rainbow baby. Now in October 2016, we have two beautiful rainbow babies. And they brighten…
How many children do I have? This is a question that has been weighing on my mind. In truth, I don't think that there is an answer that makes sense. And I wonder if that really matters. However, it still weighs on my mind. And I wanted to share my feelings in the hope that it might help someone else who is struggling with the same question.…
I don't like uncertainty. I like to have a plan. I want to know what I am doing today, tomorrow and in 10 years time. Tomorrow we go for our first appointment at the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic. To say that I am nervous is an understatement. I have no idea what to expect. I don't know how long the appointment will last. I don't know what will be discussed and I don't know how those discussions will make me feel.…
Trigger warning: Baby loss. The post “I Was Hoping – Reacting To Our Fourth Miscarriage” is about baby loss and miscarriage and you may find it upsetting if you have any personal experience of these subjects. I Was Hoping – Reacting To Our Fourth Miscarriage I was hoping that this time would be different. I was hoping that we wouldn’t have to hear the words: “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t look good”. I was hoping that the fact I was fitter…