I have created this blog series in the wish that it will give hope to anyone who has experienced baby loss or is struggling to have a longed for baby. To show that even after the darkest storm a rainbow can appear.
Little Miss H and Little Mister H are not the only rainbow babies. There are many of them. And I want to share the beautiful and poignant tales of these special little rainbows.
I am inviting others to tell these stories. To talk about these precious children in their own words. And I will collate them on my blog so that there is a shared space where these stories of hope are held.
Today, Lucy who blogs at Real Mum Reviews will be sharing the story of her beautiful rainbow baby who was born in September last year.
If you have never read Lucy’s blog then you really should go and pay it a visit. Her blog is a wonderful mixture of practical and inspirational.
I particularly love her post Thank you midwives. I too had fantastic midwives and I am very grateful for everything they did to ensure that I am now blessed with two beautiful children.
My Rainbow Baby – Neve’s story
When I became pregnant with my second child in 2016, I did not think for one minute that I would become one of those statistics. One of the 1 in 4 pregnancies that ends in miscarriage. I guess I had always taken pregnancy for granted. I had been incredibly lucky in that for both of my pregnancies; I had caught on the first month of trying. I had no reason to think that this one wouldn’t end with me holding the baby in my arms.
Unfortunately, this pregnancy wasn’t meant to be. I started spotting at 7 weeks and lost my baby a few days later. I felt like the floor had been taken from beneath me. I thought I must have done something wrong and questioned every activity or situation I had placed myself in during those short weeks.
I know a lot of women who miscarry hate the phrase everything happens for a reason, but for me, it provided a little comfort. Within time, I reassured myself that it wasn’t me, that it wasn’t something I had done, and that this baby, for whatever reason, wasn’t made for this world. My baby would have been 9 months old now, and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t wonder what he or she would have been like.
There is no recommended timescale for trying again. Another phrase I know that will fill most women who have lost with rage. For me, I wanted to try again. I knew I wanted my family to be a family of four, and I was so desperate to give my daughter the sibling that she was so clearly ready for.
Again, we got pregnant very quickly. They say you are incredibly fertile after a loss, and for us that seemed to be the case, as just 3 months after my miscarriage I was pregnant again.
I cannot say I enjoyed the beginning of this pregnancy. I was pregnant with my rainbow baby, and was over the moon, but those first 12 weeks in particular were very hard. Every twinge, pain or unfamiliar feeling filled me with dread. With my eldest being 3, I had forgotten what all of those changes to your body felt like, and I was incredibly anxious of something going wrong again. Despite having a sick phobia, I was actually slightly pleased to see the onset of some nausea, as I hoped this meant that my hormones were reacting as planned!
After we passed the 7 week mark, the point at which my last pregnancy ended, I decided that I wanted an early scan. We booked for a private scan at 10 weeks. I was incredibly nervous waiting to go in that day, but the minute I heard my rainbow’s heart beating it was a massive weight off my mind. I still wasn’t completely calm, but I was starting to feel more positive that this pregnancy would be successful.
As my pregnancy progressed, I gradually became calmer and began to feel excitement rather than fear. We had a few bumps in the road, such as her deciding to lie the wrong way around with her head well and truly stuck under my ribcage, but otherwise my pregnancy progressed very smoothly. At 39 weeks, my rainbow decided she was ready to face the world, and was born via emergency section on the 8th September.
She is quite simply perfect – the beautiful little sister that my eldest was desperate for. She responded to my voice almost immediately and took her first feed within minutes of being born. She is a very calm and content baby, and only really cries when she’s cold or has wind! As my mum would have said – she is very knowing, almost like she has been here before!
I had a fairly horrific post section experience after getting sepsis ( which you can read about on my blog). In the hospital she was so good that the midwives commented that it was like she was looking after me rather than the other way around!
Now fully recovered, I count my blessings every single day and feel so incredibly blessed to have my girls.
My advice for anyone who is trying for their rainbow is keep smiling and stay positive. Every baby, and every pregnancy is different.
As the definition goes, your rainbow baby will follow the storm and bring hope of brighter days. I hope lots more rainbows brighten up the skies.
Lucy, thank you so much for sharing your story and the tale of your beautiful daughter Neve. I am sorry that you had to experience baby loss but I am glad that you were blessed with such a wonderful rainbow baby.
I will be sharing the next My Rainbow Baby post in a matter of weeks. I will be joined by Fran who blogs at Back with a Bump. This post will go live on Wednesday 15th March. Please pop back to the blog to have a read and give this series your support.
If you would like to contribute to My rainbow baby then please leave a message in the comments or email me on email@example.com. I would love to hear from you.
If you have experienced baby loss or are pregnant after a loss then you do not need to feel alone. There are people who you can reach out to. The following charities are a fantastic source of comfort and support. They can also provide resources to help you through this difficult time.
- Tommy’s funds research into stillbirths, premature births and miscarriages. They also offer advice to parents-to-be. The website’s pregnancy information pages have been written by midwives and are full of practical advice. Tommy’s has a Facebook page run by midwives. They also have a midwife run pregnancy line on 0800 0147 800.
- Kicks Count aim is to empower mums-to-be with knowledge and confidence. Their website contains a huge amount of information about pregnancy with a primary focus on monitoring your baby’s movements. The website also contains information about the role the partner should play in monitoring their baby’s movements.
- The Miscarriage Association is devoted to supporting those who have experienced miscarriage. The website is a fantastic resource. They have produced a very helpful leaflet called Thinking about another pregnancy. Which has lots of hints and tips on how to look after yourself and reduce your risk of having another miscarriage. They also have a helpline on 01924 200 799, which is open Monday to Friday, 9am to 4pm.
- MAMA Academy is a charity which supports mums and midwives to help babies arrive safely. The Royal College of Midwives have approved all the content on their website. MAMA Academy also produce Wellbeing Wallets which are full of easy to understand information that will guide and help you in your pregnancy.