On Friday, I had a hysteroscopy. It was the final test that the NHS will offer us in our investigations into the recurrent miscarriages. It didn't give any answers. My miscarriages remain unexplained. It could be bad luck. It could be a chromosomal issue. We might never know. And that for me is the worst development. I know, it is ridiculous to want something to be wrong. But I wanted there to be something wrong with me so that there was a…
Browsing Category
Mental Health
I don't like uncertainty. I like to have a plan. I want to know what I am doing today, tomorrow and in 10 years time. Tomorrow we go for our first appointment at the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic. To say that I am nervous is an understatement. I have no idea what to expect. I don't know how long the appointment will last. I don't know what will be discussed and I don't know how those discussions will make me feel.…
Suffering from recurrent miscarriage was one of the hardest times in my life. The heartbreak and fear of the future were overwhelming. And it’s impossible to fully recover from a miscarriage. Even now, over three years on, I can honestly say that I’ll never forget losing our babies. But life does move on and you move on with it. And while we were going through our experience of baby loss, I did learn a few things about how to move…
Trigger warning: Baby loss. The post “I Was Hoping – Reacting To Our Fourth Miscarriage” is about baby loss and miscarriage and you may find it upsetting if you have any personal experience of these subjects. I Was Hoping – Reacting To Our Fourth Miscarriage I was hoping that this time would be different. I was hoping that we wouldn’t have to hear the words: “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t look good”. I was hoping that the fact I was fitter…
Self-harm still feels like a very taboo subject to talk about. I've always been open in this blog. I have written posts about my history of long-term depression, miscarriages and even my suicide attempts. But somehow talking about my personal experiences of self-harm seems more difficult. Even now, as I write this I wonder what you are all thinking.…
Mental Health Thoughts & Inspiration
Cancer Research UK: Workplace And Teacher
Posted on February 25, 2015
During my time at Cancer Research UK I changed as a person. I developed both professionally and personally. But I did not expect that working at Cancer Research UK would teach me more about life. My day job taught me some valuable life lessons. Lessons that I am not always brilliant at following. But lessons that I need to remember and that I try to use as motivation for how I live my life.…
Mental Health
Living With Long-Term Depression – The Long And Winding Road
Posted on January 16, 2015
I think I have mentioned before that I suffer from depression. I have done since my second year at university. At times my depression has been horrendous but at other times I am completely happy and content with my life. I have to admit, that during the past few weeks have been struggling. This is my fault!…
Baby Loss Mental Health Motherhood
Stormy Weather – Reacting To Our Third Miscarriage
Posted on October 25, 2014
I think it is fair to say that the past month has been crap. Life has dealt us an unfair hand and we have lurched from one stressful experience to the next. It wasn’t meant to be this way. We’d just found out that I was expecting another baby. Mr H was on holiday for two weeks before beginning a new job and we had booked a few days away in Dorset. But the best laid plans of mice and…
