Welcome back to the blog series My Rainbow Baby. I created My Rainbow Baby in the wish that it will give hope to anyone who has experienced baby loss or is struggling to have a longed for baby. To show that even after the darkest storm a rainbow can appear. Little Miss H and Little Mister H are not the only rainbow babies. There are many of them. And I want to share the beautiful and poignant tales of these special little rainbows.…
I have a stalker. They've been a menacing presence in my life since I was 20. And since their appearance during my second year at university, there has been no escape. They've been every where I turned. Every where I looked. They threatened my life. And they filled me with self loathing and hatred. Setting me on a path to self destruction.…
Well hello and welcome to the first "Mrs H's 10 favourite things" post. I have been meaning to start writing these posts for a while now. I often discover fabulous Netflix programmes, a gorgeous new lipstick, a beautiful dress for Little Miss H or a cute babygrow for Little Mister H. And I have nowhere to rave about them. That is why I am starting this monthly post. This month I am being a little sneaky and including some pregnancy items from May…
I have to say it. I hate November. In my opinion, it is the hardest month of the year. And it is the month where I always struggle with my depression. I didn't always feel this way. As a child and a teenager I was indifferent to November. Nothing exciting happened. I spent the days waiting for December and the count down to Christmas. That all changed on Saturday, 23rd November 2002. That was the day that I made serious plans to take my life…
Today is my birthday. I am now 37 years old. I am not entirely sure how it happened but I appear to have entered my late thirties. Three years of the big 4-0. And it actually feels good. I spent much of my twenties deeply unhappy. My thirties have been a turning point for me. I am now happier in my own skin. And although I still have days when I struggle, I know what I need to do to make myself…
On Friday, I had a hysteroscopy. It was the final test that the NHS will offer us in our investigations into the recurrent miscarriages. It didn't give any answers. My miscarriages remain unexplained. It could be bad luck. It could be a chromosomal issue. We might never know. And that for me is the worst development. I know, it is ridiculous to want something to be wrong. But I wanted there to be something wrong with me so that there was a…
