TRIGGER WARNING: Baby loss. The post “Medical Management Of A Missed Miscarriage” contains details of miscarriage and baby loss. This week is Baby Loss Awareness Week 2018. Our first miscarriage was over four years ago, yet I can remember it as if it were yesterday. Baby loss stays with you. And though time passes the memories still haunt you and the heartbreak remains. But the loss of a baby isn’t just an emotional experience. It’s also a very physical and…
Trigger warning: you may find this post upsetting if you have experienced miscarriages. In a little over a week our rainbow baby boy will turn one. That is a whole year of having his sunny presence in our lives. And a year of knowing that the miscarriages are far behind us. My last miscarriage was in May 2015. And in September 2015 we were given the news that the miscarriages were unexplained. That there wasn’t a known reason for our…
Dear Baby, Today could have been your 4th birthday. Today your Daddy and I could have been singing happy birthday to you. We could have watched you open your presents. Seen you smile as you blew out the candles on your cake. We could have taken you to see the animals at London Zoo. Maybe you would have asked to take one of your new toys with you.…
"A rainbow baby is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison." Quotation taken from the Kicks Count website. Four years ago, I had never heard of the term rainbow baby. Now in October 2016, we have two beautiful rainbow babies. And they brighten…
Dear friend It is traditional in these circumstances to say I am sorry for your loss. But those words seem empty and insulting. They imply that you have been careless and misplaced something valuable... a wallet, your keys, your phone. Those words don't convey that your world has come crashing down. They don't show that your heart is splintering into pieces. They don't speak of the shattering sobs that run through your whole body late at night. They don't tell of the emptiness that often manifests…
Suffering from recurrent miscarriage was one of the hardest times in my life. The heartbreak and fear of the future were overwhelming. And it’s impossible to fully recover from a miscarriage. Even now, over three years on, I can honestly say that I’ll never forget losing our babies. But life does move on and you move on with it. And while we were going through our experience of baby loss, I did learn a few things about how to move…
I think it is fair to say that the past month has been crap. Life has dealt us an unfair hand and we have lurched from one stressful experience to the next. It wasn’t meant to be this way. We’d just found out that I was expecting another baby. Mr H was on holiday for two weeks before beginning a new job and we had booked a few days away in Dorset. But the best laid plans of mice and…